


A Series of Unfortunate Misunderstandings

by sunlitcafe



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), Angst, Best Friends, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, Love Triangles, M/M, Multi, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, oumasai
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 09:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23968852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunlitcafe/pseuds/sunlitcafe
Summary: in every friendship, there's bound to be misunderstandingsand when these misunderstandings begin to pile upthe tower is bound to be destroyed.kokichi just hopes shuichi arrives before then.highschool au fic inspired by a simple phrase from an old webcomic: it's hard being a kid and growing up. it's hard and no one understands.--> change in updating schedule: updated every wednesday
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Amami Rantaro, Akamatsu Kaede/Saihara Shuichi, Amami Rantaro/Shirogane Tsumugi, Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito, K1-B0/Oma Kokichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Saihara Shuichi/Shirogane Tsumugi
Comments: 30
Kudos: 120





	1. The Calm before the Storm

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter is a bit short, but the chapters get longer as the story progresses
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)
> 
> \- sunlit

Kokichi's POV 

Kokichi Ouma knew that many people didn’t like him. He understood that he had an “eccentric” personality that tended to weird people out before they got the chance to even get to know him. Kokichi knew that he wasn’t a popular kid and that highschool had definitely not been the romanticized experience he had envisioned while watching pirated High School Musical in middle school. He knew all these things, yet there was one thing that made up for everything: Shuichi Saihara.

Shuichi was his best friend and their friendship had bloomed in their shared AP Calculus class. His dream was becoming a world-class detective and according to him, he HAD to be good at Calculus because he needed those logical-thinking skills. Kokichi admired Shuichi in that aspect. Kokichi had no specific future ambitions. He’d joke around saying that his dream was becoming a dictator of a small country or getting a rich spouse and never having to work again. Having a maid wasn’t a too bad second choice either. But whenever he brought the idea up, Shuichi denied it all and just said self-deprecating words, which both hurt and frustrated Kokichi. Surprisingly, he’d grown used to it and just shook it off by now.

Kokichi’s friend group consisted of Kaito Momota, who acted as the club’s leader with dreams of becoming an astronaut, Rantaro Amami, a laidback guy that always looked for adventure, Gonta Gokuhara, a sweet but naive new transfer student with an interest in insects, Tsumugi Shirogane, a girl that dabbled in various interests found on the internet known as anime and cosplay. Kaede Akamatsu, a skilled pianist with a kind heart, Shuichi, a constantly confused nerd that always tried his best, and lastly Kokichi. They were a diverse cast and he loved them all dearly. 

Kaede and Shuichi had joined Kokichi’s friend group towards the end of junior year. They had been dating then, but later decided to break up because they felt ‘too much like friends’. Kokichi didn’t understand how that could ever be a reason for a break-up, he’d gladly date someone who was friend-like rather than overly lovey-dovey. 

“Hey, Kokichi?” Shuichi’s voice rang into Kokichi’s ears, which woke him up from his late afternoon nap.

“Whassup ‘Ichi” Kokichi drawled out.

“Listen when people are talking to you!” Shuichi scolded. “We were talking about having a party at Kaito’s this weekend. Are you coming?”

“You bet I am!”

“Don’t bother asking Kokichi,” Kaito said. “He’s probably lying and is planning on ditching last minute like the last three parties we invited him too.”

“Nishishi. Kaito knows me too well. But I won’t disclose whether I’m coming or not. It’ll be a surprise!” Kokichi replied.

“You’re such a dick.”

“Shut the fuck up Momota and go crawl to your girlfriend before I beat your ass.”

“Whatever…” Shuichi sighed. “I’m still adding you to the group chat. But you really need to start hanging out with us more. It’s our senior year and the time we get to spend together is obviously limited.”

Senior year. It seemed like both a blessing and a curse. It was a blessing because it meant that Kokichi would be out of this hell hole. Don’t get him wrong, he loved his friends and the school as an institution. But it was the other people that made him uncomfortable. The condescending glares by the other students in the hallways seemed to engrave another mark into Kokichi’s back every day. The stress of having to hide his interests to fit in took his toll on him too. He couldn’t wait to get out and thrive in the freedom that was college. But then again, where was he going to go? What was he going to major in? The counselors had told him he could get in anywhere he wanted, so that wasn’t a worry. However, like all things that made his head hurt, Kokichi just buried that away and hid from the college counselors whenever they were on the look for him.

Tsumugi hit his arm on the way to biology class.

“Hey Kokichi, I need to talk to you.”

Uh oh. Kokichi thought. That’s her voice when she wants a favor from me or wants to ‘spill tea’.

“My ears are all yours until we reach class.”

“Take it seriously will you! This is important for me.”

“Fine. I’m actually listening. No jokes.”

“I’m going to tell Rantaro I like him,” Tsumugi confessed.

Kokichi’s eyes widened. Sure the thought of the two of them together had crossed his mind a couple of times, but he hadn’t expected the progression to occur already. Rantaro and Tsumugi were both in AP Theatre and were always in their own world. 

“What makes you say that? Are you sure?” he dropped his voice to a whisper.

“Hey! I had a good number of sleepless nights thinking through this exact thing. He just really understands me. Also, he’s incredibly hot! And he has a good fashion sense! And he’s really nice to me, so maybe he feels the same way.”

“Okay. I’m going to stop you there. You two are best friends? You sure you want to risk it and tell him you like him?”

“It’s senior year Kokichi! This is my last hope. When else am I going to tell him about my feelings? You should tell your crush you like him too.”

Kokichi nearly fell over when he heard Tsumugi yell that into his ear. For all he knew he did not have anyone he liked. But then who could Tsumugi be mistaking as his crush. Perhaps Kaito? Kokichi accidentally said he’d fuck Kaito while playing fuck marry kill. Was Tsumugi thinking that had been a hint? Or perhaps Gonta? Kokichi spent the majority of his time, helping Gonta get accustomed to his new school after living in a boarding school in the mountains. But they all felt like reaches.

“Okay enlighten me Tsumugi. Who do I like?” he asked.

“What are you asking me for silly. You like Shuichi. I can keep it a secret for you.”

He had totally forgotten that Shuichi was a candidate in that race. He gave Tsumugi the benefit of the doubt. Shuichi and he hung out a lot by themselves such as going to the movies or the arcade or just going to each other’s house. But it wasn’t like that. They were just best friends and he was lowkey sure that Shuichi was asexual, because of that guy’s clear disinterest in any person in their school aside from occasionally Kaede, which was a definitely spilled milk. After telling Tsumugi all this, she seemed to get it, but she looked awfully disappointed.

“Well guess my Oumasai ship has sunk…” she muttered under her breath.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing nothing. But then Kokichi, you need to help me with my confession to Rantaro! I’m so plain, so I need a more flashy way of telling him I like him.”

“Suit yourself, but we reached our class, so I’m shutting my ears off.”

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

School ended with Kokichi not having listened to a single word coming from the teachers’ mouths. He headed towards the station to catch his subway when he saw a familiar face. 

“Shuichi!” Kokichi yelled as he ran up to the platform and almost running over the very person he was happy to see. “I haven’t seen you all day because we didn’t have class! I was so bored without you you know.”

Shuichi laughed. “People are going to think we’re going out if you sound that happy seeing me on the platform.” Tsumugi’s voice suddenly penetrated Kokichi’s mind as he heard that. You like Shuichi. I can keep it a secret for you. Turning red, Kokichi shook his head to get her image out as soon as possible. Shuichi looked at him with a confused look, but then just continued talking about his day and the most recent detective game he had bought. Kokichi didn’t give a shit about Shuichi’s detective games and felt they were a tad cliched and boring, but he liked watching Shuichi look so happy, so he normally just went with it.

Kokichi looked Shuichi up and down. If he really had to think about it, Shuichi wasn’t ugly. Hell, he was an extremely pretty boy and he could honestly see himself together with him. Their height difference was attractive. Shuichi had a kind and considerate, nearly complacent, personality, so he’d do anything Kokichi asked him to do. It wasn’t like Shuichi was unpopular, he was actually more popular than Kokichi was. Even some of the jocks approached Shuichi, so if Kokichi would ever date him that would mean his social standing would shoot up too. Not like he only looked at popularity, but it was certainly a ‘pro’ in this situation.

Thinking like this made Kokichi’s heart beat a little faster. It felt like the first time he had regarded Shuichi in that way. But before he could truly immerse himself into his daydreams about being in a relationship, certain words from Shuichi’s rant entered his ears.

“So yeah. Rantaro asked me for permission. Can you believe it?”

Kokichi snapped himself back to reality.

“I’m sorry. Rantaro what? I wasn’t listening.”

“Kokichi you should fix that bad habit. You always talk when you want to you should listen mor-”

“Okay okay. I noted that down. I’ll never do it ever again I swear. Now repeat that last sentence for me.”

“Rantaro asked me for permission?”

“Permission? Permission for what?”

“Permission to ask Kaede out?”

Kokichi felt extremely confused for the second time this day because of Rantaro. He had to choose the next words carefully in order to not cast suspicion on Tsumugi’s interest in Rantaro. 

“But they don’t even interact that much? And didn’t you and Kaede break up like a week ago?”

“I guess that’s why he was asking for permission. I gave it to him. I don’t really mind.”

Liar. Kokichi thought. It wasn’t news that Shuichi wasn’t yet over Kaede. That was probably also why Rantaro had asked Shuichi for permission. He didn’t want to make things uncomfortable at our table and Rantaro really appreciated Shuichi too. Moreover, everyone could see Shuichi’s face become gloomy whenever he saw Kaede talking with others or awkwardly avoiding him at the lunch table. Every time Kokichi saw Shuichi look down, he couldn’t help but feel pained. Shuichi was gentle and easy to break. While he really appreciated Kaede and understood that she wasn’t at fault for Shuichi’s weak nature, he couldn’t help but feel a little mad with Kaede for hurting Shuichi this much. 

“And what do you mean they don’t interact that much?” Shuichi continued. “They’ve been talking every day this past week. Rantaro seems to have pined after her for a long time.”

“So what you’re saying is that Rantaro likes Kaede?”

“I mean I’m guessing that’s why he’s asking her out.”

Kokichi thought about Tsumugi’s excited face as she outlined her master plan to ask Rantaro out at the party and felt his face fall for a quick second. This was becoming quite a headache for him and his extensive knowledge of the situation.

“Kokichi?”

Catching himself, Kokichi stuck a big grin on his face again. It was nothing a white lie could not fix. “It’s nothing. Anyway, do tell me about your new game! It sounded interesting as hell.”

“I know right!” Shuichi’s eyes brightened at the mention of the game and continued to speak avidly about it. 

The platform began to shake, signaling the near arrival of the subway. But as the platform shook and the noise of the approaching subway enveloped Shuichi’s delicate voice, Kokichi felt an indescribable emotion. The weather was unusually hot in the middle of September that made his usually loose shirt, stick disgustingly close to his sweating skin. The robotic voice coming from the loudspeakers seemed to ring and duplicate in his ears. As if this wasn’t enough, the opening of the recently arrived subway doors blew even hotter air into Kokichi’s face that blurred his vision. Kokichi knew that a storm was coming. A storm was brewing on the horizon, disguising itself as a false promise of hope and relief.

Ah fuck. Kokichi thought as it seemed like their once-peaceful group of friends was going to be a victim to a series of love triangles and misunderstandings that were going to be born by Tsumugi’s words It’s senior year! This is my last hope.


	2. Alcohol and Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing to the second chapter!  
> This chapter was a mostly Kokichi-centric chapter, but he'll be interacting with more characters in the next one :)  
> Leave comments on suggestions for future possible situations that Ouma and Shuichi could find themselves in.
> 
> \- sunlit

Kokichi's POV 

“Truth or dare!”

“Truth!”

“Alright, Kaito. I’ve always been wondering… who did you lose your virginity to?”

“Fucking hell Rantaro. I choose to drink!”

“Coward. I already know it’s the bookworm psycho from two years ago.”

“Hey, that was supposed to stay classified!”

In a blink of an eye, Saturday had come. While Kokichi normally skipped these social gatherings as he was bad with alcohol and always felt incredibly awkward in them, he had dragged himself to the one today. He had felt a bit bad about skipping the last three meetings and also he was slightly concerned with how things would go with Tsumugi and Rantaro. Tsumugi had told Kokichi on Friday that she was planning on asking Rantaro out during the party. Kokichi had done everything he could to postpone it, but her mind had been made up and he could not sway her. If he were honest, he was surprised that she even kept it inside for so long, since Tsumugi was someone who has direct and spontaneous at best. In the worst cases, she was unpredictable and even a tad frightening. Currently, Tsumugi was sitting next to Kokichi with an expression that just screamed anticipation and nervousness. Kokichi wondered whether he should’ve told her about Rantaro and Kaede before, but he knew he couldn’t have done it. On Friday, he had made his last-ditch effort to postpone the confession.

“Tsumugi. Are you absolutely sure you want to say it already? Maybe give him a week or so.”

“No way! I want to tell him now! But Kokichi why are you so worried. Do you think I don’t have a chance with him?”

“No! No! On second thought just don’t take any advice from me Nishishishi. I’ve never been in a relationship anyway, what would I know? I’m sure your confession will go great!”

“Thanks, Kokichi I knew I could count on you!”

These words had come to haunt he now as Kokichi sat right next to her, fearing what she’d do next. After a long time of truth or dare or drink (as Kaito dubbed it), the group splintered off into different directions. Kaito and Shuichi were doing some more shots in the kitchen since Shuichi didn’t get drunk easily and Kaito had made it today’s goal to get him wasted. Kaede was playing beer pong with Maki while simultaneously attempting to teach a very drunk Gonta on the rules of the game. Rantaro and Tsumugi were had gone upstairs to talk and that was that. Kokichi was considering joining the others but came to think a thought. From his position at the foot of the stairs, he had a wide view of both the beer pong table in the living room as well as the kitchen. It seemed to paint such a beautiful picture in Kokichi’s mind that he slowly took a seat on the last few stairs and just watched, fearing getting too close or interacting with this beautiful masterpiece. It felt like if he stepped just a few steps too close to the view, he would soil the pure innocence and happiness depicted by his friends. Kokichi was not confident that he could exert the same aura that the others were doing right now. The painting looked so complete. Even a single stroke more would ruin this delicate beauty. He took another gulp out of his red solo cup in his hand.

As he enjoyed the view, he noticed that there had been movement present in his painting. Kaito had moved from the kitchen over to the beer pong table and seemed to be harassing Maki to play a game against him. Kokichi glanced around to the kitchen but Shuichi wasn’t there anymore. Kokichi felt himself panic a little as he forced his heavy head to turn left and right looking for his best friend. 

“Kokichi what are you doing here all alone?” Shuichi had sat next to Kokichi without him realizing it. The alcohol was really starting to kick in. 

“I’m just watching.”

“Watching?”

“Yes. I’m watching a movie on adolescence. A small snapshot of an insignificant time of our life that we’re probably already going to forget the next morning.”

“Insignificant huh. Regardless of whether it’s insignificant or not, regardless of whether we’re going to forget it even the next day, you have to admit. It sure is beautiful.”

“Nishishi. Shuichi I’m just bullshitting. I’m tired and drunk and I can’t feel my legs. Let me have my fun”

Maki was chasing Kaito around the ping pong table, mad that Kaito had spilled some beer in her hair. Beautiful it sure was. The sun was beginning to set behind them and the room was filled with warm rays that seemed to imitate the warmth in my head and stomach. They had been dumb to have started drinking at 4 pm. They were going to forget this beautiful sunset.

“I’m kind of concerned about one thing though” Shuichi continued. Kokichi turned his face to finally face Shuichi. The red and orange hues seemed to be dancing within Shuichi’s glistening pupils, enticing Kokichis own to follow. “Sometimes, I feel like you distance yourself from us.”

“Distance? Me?”

“Yeah. Times like now, I catch you looking at us, but it’s the way you look at us that bothers me.”

“Well, Mr. Detective. How do I look at you?”

“You look like you’re afraid.”

“Afraid?” Kokichi was slightly taken aback. He had been joking and was surprised that Shuichi was taking everything so seriously.

“Yes. Afraid. You look like you’re scared to join us. Most times you still do. And your words and tone indicate you’re having fun. But sometimes you look at us like you’re watching a story unfold in front of you and you don’t get to be a part of it. You’re afraid to even reach out.” Shuichi looked serious. Serious enough for Kokichi to sober up and feel nervous.

“You’re being a nutjob. You’re observant as hell but you’re such a nutjob. I love you guys why would I act like that,” Kokichi grinned and ruffled Shuichi’s hair to which he made a grumpy expression. “The alcohol is getting to you, you idiot.”

“And not to you? Your face is red as a potato!”

“It’s ‘red as a tomato’ Shuichi. And no. It’s the light that’s making my face red.” That was a lie. While Shuichi had been talking the sun had gone down and the sky was turning a cool shade of indigo. Desperate to change the topic of the conversation, Kokichi looked around the room for something to talk about. His eyes then caught the sights of Rantaro walking down from the other staircase. “So Rantaro and Kaede. You sure it’s all good?”

“Rantaro and Kaede huh.” Shuichi’s red-tinted cheek suddenly gained a trail made by a quick tear. More tears soon followed. He buried his face in his hands so that Kokichi could not see his expression. Yet it was clear to Kokichi that it was not a pretty one. “Of course I’m not good.”

‘Shit.’ Kokichi thought. He should’ve picked any other topic than that. Way to change the topic by bringing up Shuichi’s one week ex.

“I’ve never liked someone as much as her. For the longest time, I had lost hope in finding anyone for me. I just never felt the butterflies in my stomach as the books said. But Kaede made me feel exactly like that. When we were together, I wanted to change myself to be good enough for her. I worked so hard to change myself to fit with her cheerful self, but I can’t believe it backfired.”

“Yes, you guys were really good together.” Kokichi didn’t know how to remedy the situation so he just continued to attempt to cheer his drunk friend up. 

“Is wanting to be friend-like with a girlfriend wrong? I could tell she was acting more coldly towards me. The other day at the party you didn’t attend, I went up to her and she blatantly ignored me.”

‘Thank god I hadn’t gone to that party.’ Kokichi thought and continued patting Shuichi’s back sympathetically.

“She broke up with me because she said I didn’t feel like a boyfriend, but just like a friend… Was I a bad boyfriend for wanting to go slow? Is it bad that I’m not over her yet?”

“Of course not. You really liked her. It’s natural for these things to hurt. They’ll hurt for a while but it’ll get better as time passes. I understand that Rantaro wasn’t as considerate with your feelings as he could’ve been. But please don’t think you’re a bad person. You’re the greatest guy I’ve ever met,” Kokichi rambled. It pained him to see Shuichi so sad and he was trying everything to remedy the mistake.

“Thanks, Kokichi. You’re really a great friend.” 

Kokichi felt his heart fall to his stomach as Shuichi said those words. He was happy that he could be there for his friend. But for some reason, he hated the change in Shuichi’s tone when speaking about him. Why was it bugging him? He was fine with Shuichi calling him a good friend when he and Kaede were dating. Nothing had changed between their friendship since. 

“That’s what friends are for! Come on let it all out!”

As Kokichi said this, Shuichi pulled him into a hug and began to cry his eyes out. A little while later, Kaito drunkenly began to walk over to them. He saw Shuichi’s tear-stained face and drew a quite smart idea for his dumb head.

“Guys! Shuichi’s a depressed drunk!” he yelled into the crowd. Then he pulled his face closer to Shuichi’s. “C’mon let’s get you some more to drink so that you stop crying! Someone pour this guy more shots!”

Kaito then pulled Shuichi up to his feet and put his built arm over Shuichi’s rather thin build. Kokichi wanted to stand up and tell him to let the poor guy go. But as he approached the two, who had resumed their positions in the kitchen, Kokichi noticed the carefree smile that had returned to Shuichi’s face. A smile that he couldn’t put onto his pale face, but Kaito seemingly had managed to do it in a matter of seconds. 

It made Kokichi miserable. Did Shuichi enjoy Kaito’s company more than his? Or was he the problem? He had been the one who had made his best friend remember his ex after all. 

Kokichi watched the two figures laugh at some joke Kaito had said. While his heart ached, he couldn’t help but feel relieved to see that the painting in front of his eyes had become complete again with Shuichi in the picture. Kokichi decided not to mess with the group’s perfect equilibrium anymore. He didn’t want to soil this picture-perfect friendship any further.

As Kokichi poured himself another drink from the vodka bottle beside him, he saw Tsumugi walking down dejected from the upper floor using the exact staircase Rantaro had. Her blue hair was tousled and flying in all directions. Her puffy eyes told Kokichi everything he had to know about how the confession went. Had it been any other day, Kokichi would have gone up to Tsumugi and asked her how she was feeling or try to make her feel better. But it was an ugly Saturday. Kokichi was drunk and getting more and more pissed at Kaito’s laughter. He was getting so pissed at Kaito’s dumbass laughter that he felt himself getting annoyed at Shuichi’s joining in too. So, no, he was not going to go over to Tsumugi and cheer her up. He began taking another drink, but decided against it and just finished the entire bottle.

***

The windows behind the beer pong table had gone pitch black as night had befallen the crew. As Kokichi squinted to get a better view, he watched as the black void began entering the room, pouring in from every window. Kokichi felt paralyzed as he watched it overflow and convulse. Shuichi was sitting on the couch with Kaito when he saw the void. Kaito, with his obnoxious smile, took Shuichi’s hand and pulled him into the dark nothingness that lie ahead of them. 

The darkness seemed menacing and unknown. Kokichi didn’t want Shuichi to follow Kaito into it. Every fiber in his being was telling him it was a bad idea. But Shuichi seemed to not notice. Kokichi tried calling out to him, but they were too far away. The distance between the living room and Kokichi’s staircase seemed to be increasing exponentially. Kokichi could hardly make out the people in the living room anymore.

Shuichi seemed to hesitate but slowly followed him into the darkness. Kokichi couldn’t breathe, but with all the energy he had left, he called out to Shuichi. He called out until he felt his lungs burst. He begged him to come back, to not leave him. He begged and screamed and cried. But Shuichi was already being consumed and couldn’t hear him. Kokichi kept screaming for him.

“Shuichi!”

Kokichi didn’t remember falling asleep but he woke up, looking for a clock to pinpoint what time it was. His head seemed to be pounding. With his half-closed eyes, Kokichi searched for Shuichi, who he found sleeping, sitting next to Kokichi.

Morning had come. Everything had only been a nightmare. Shuichi was always going to stay here, next to him. Kokichi moved Shuichi’s hair out of his face and smiled. It had only been a bad dream. His best friend wasn’t going to be leaving him… hopefully.


	3. School's Back in Session

Kokichi's POV 

It was a grey Monday afternoon. Kokichi was walking around the school as he had a free period. He carried a can of grape Fanta that he bought from the school’s vending machine that seemed to be miraculously working for the first time in the last six months. Maybe things were finally going his way.

The party on Saturday had ended in a pretty haphazard way. Everyone had gotten much too drunk to get back home and had just spent the night at Kaito’s. Then one after the other had left. Kokichi was one of the people that left earlier. After that awful dream, he had not wanted to stay in Kaito’s house with those big, menacing windows any longer. His headache had been killing him too.

After Koichi had gone back home, he had calmed down, drank some water, and took a quick nap. As soon as he had woken up, he had turned his phone on and messaged Tsumugi about how it had gone yesterday. He knew the answer. It had been obvious from her facial expression when she had walked down the staircase, but Kokichi felt that it was only polite to ask her and have her vent her emotions. 

Not even a couple of seconds after Kokichi sent his first ‘hey’, Tsumugi already sent him an entire paragraph about how upset she was. Kokichi felt bad and tried his best to cheer her up. After a while, Tsumugi had gotten everything out of her system and told Kokichi she felt much better. 

Apparently, Rantaro had told Tsumugi that he had feelings for Kaede and only regarded Tsumugi as a close friend. ‘I feel it would be unfair to be in a relationship with you when I don’t feel the same way with you. You deserve so much better.’ had been Rantaro’s response. It was classic for that guy to try to think about the other’s perspective in situations like these, but Kokichi felt that this consideration had only made the rejection hurt Tsumugi more.

He did his best to cheer Tsumugi up and promised her that he was going to give his all to make her next crush work out. He swore on his life. To any other person, this might’ve sounded offensive, but both Kokichi and Tsumugi knew that she was a hopeless romantic and it wouldn’t take her even a month to find a new guy to pine for and confess to. Kokichi envied her in that aspect, he wished he could fall for people that easily or find emotional connections that fast. 

Well, those were the events that occurred over the weekend. Kokichi, however, stopped in his tracks when he saw two familiar figures standing in a practice room. He must’ve been really caught up in his thoughts to have managed to go from the third floor in the library all the way to the music department on the first floor.

“I like you. I’ve liked you for some time now Kaede.”

Kokichi wasn’t normally someone who was really into overhearing conversations, but after that tough weekend, he felt like he deserved to hear a bit more. He was indirectly involved in the unfolding events after all. A little peek wouldn’t hurt. Curiosity might have killed the cat, but he knew that satisfaction brought it back. 

So, he pulled his face closer to the single, circular window on the door of the practice room. Just like he had thought. Kaede and Rantaro were sitting in the small practice room. Kaede sat at the piano and by the looks of it, she had just stopped playing the piano when she had heard Rantaro say these words.

“I’m sorry… what?” she looked confused. Kokichi noted, however, that she did not seem upset or unhappy about that statement.

“God, you’re really going to make me repeat myself… I like you Kaede. What do you think about going out with me?”

“I don’t… I don’t understand. You like me?”

“I’ve liked you for quite some time. Ever since you and Shuichi joined are friend group. But you were in a relationship then and I respected that. But now that you’re out of it, I couldn’t contain my feelings anymore. If you’re worried about Shuichi I totally understand. I’ve talked with him and asked if he would be okay with it. He gave me permission to ask you out.”

Kokichi rolled his eyes and continued judging in silence. It had only been a week. If Rantaro really respected Kaede and Shuichi, he should’ve waited at least a month. Everyone knew how much Shuichi had liked Kaede. Rantaro was just making the situation so much more complicated. But then again, when did his adventurous friend not take the most difficult path?

“I really appreciate it Rantaro…” Kaede trailed off and Rantaro’s face grew worried.

“Oh no. I know that tone. I see you don’t feel the same way about me.”

“No way. It’s not that. To be completely honest with you… I think I like you too.”

“You do?”

“Yes, but everything is moving a bit too fast. I need some time to get over my last relationship.”

Oh no she didn’t! Kokichi couldn’t believe what he was hearing. What was the point of telling him she needed more time? She literally just told Rantaro she liked him. She looked like she was already a hundred percent over Shuichi. Now she was just dangling a carrot in front of Rantaro and telling him not to take it.

Kokichi knew that he was being irrational and he didn’t actually know Kaede’s feelings and thoughts but as Shuichi’s best friend he couldn’t help but side with him. Seeing Kaede go so easily into the arms of another pissed him off, even if Rantaro was a close friend. If Kokichi himself had been dating Shuichi, he would never do this to the poor guy. Not like he was ever going to go out with Shuichi, but in a hypothetical situation, he definitely wouldn’t. 

“I understand. Thank you for taking the time to listen to what I was saying. But don’t you dare think I’m giving up on you after you said that.” Rantaro winked and began approaching the door.

‘Fuck’ Kokichi thought. He had become so invested in their conversation that he hadn’t left like he was planning to. Now Rantaro was walking in his direction to open the door. 

As Kokichi began scrambling out of the way, his shoulder hit the pillar that he hadn’t even known existed. His elbow gave out and in an almost beautifully executed catastrophic chain of events, he clutched his elbow with his right hand, totally forgetting that he had been holding the can of Fanta, which flew from his hands. Hurrying to catch the flying can, Kokichi lunged, but it bounced against his hands and flew back up in the air. Kokichi watched in horror, as the can of Fanta seemed to flow into the heavens and drop straight onto Rantaro’s head, who had just closed the practice room’s door behind him and said good-bye to Kaede. With a loud ‘clang’, it landed on Rantaro’s head. Rubbing the point of impact, he looked around to see how this can had landed onto his head. Kokichi gulped loudly as his eyes met Rantaro’s, he felt his eyes widen like a deer in headlights.

“No wonder I felt like a sewer rat was staring at me. You heard the entire thing didn’t you?” Rantaro looked at Kokichi with amused eyes.

“Hey, it’s not my fault that you decided to propose in a public area. Everyone’s allowed to use these practice rooms and put their ear next to the door to listen to the ‘music’ happening.”

Rantaro threw Kokichi his grape Fanta back. Kokichi was tempted to open it and finally drink the soda, but one look at Rantaro’s smug face indicated that it would be advisable to not open it for a while. 

Rantaro Amami was a laidback guy with an unusual yearning for challenges but sometimes he showed his sadistic side to Kokichi. He couldn’t even tell on Rantaro to anyone even if he wanted to, they were going to say he was lying anyway. Sometimes it felt like Rantaro was only showing Kokichi his real personality just to torture him. 

“Fine. You caught me red-handed. How are you going to deal with this poor criminal? Are you going to spank me until I get better?” Kokichi made puppy-eyes to make Rantaro uncomfortable.

“Ask Shuichi if you want one.”

“I- Excus- What the- That was totally uncalled for!” Kokichi stammered, his face starting to burn up. What was it with everyone lately making fun of his friendship with Shuichi?

“Wait what? I thought you two were going out?” Rantaro made a confused face and Kokichi could tell that he had stopped joking. “You guys are together all the time and you’re so touchy. So I assumed…”

“No way. He’s not my type!”

“Yes, he is.”

“Well if you think so, then you don’t know my type.”

“Introverted. Smart. Pretty Funny.”

“Shit. You’re not wrong. BUT Shuichi is just my best friend. We’re nothing more and nothing less.”

“And you’re fine with that?”

“I… Yes I am. We’re like actual friendship goals. Total bros. Two bros.”

“Okay if you say so. And stop with the ‘bro-thing’ it’s totally creeping me out.” Rantaro pulled a disgusted face which made Kokichi laugh. “Speaking of ‘friendship goals’, Shirogane asked me out.”

“Yeah, I know. Heard you rejected her pretty hard too. Who says ‘You’re really great, but I like Kaede right now and I feel like if I get into a relationship with you, it would be unfair because I don’t feel the same way about you’? Way to shit on someone’s parade.”

“How the fuck do you know every word I said? Did you listen in to that conversation from outside the door too?”

“Shut up. I have better things to do than spend every waking minute of my life stalking you. I talk with Tsumugi 24/7, what did you expect?”

“I forgot, that’s my bad. But how else was I supposed to answer? I didn’t want to leave things in mystery and be honest with my feelings. Something you’re bad at.”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh look at the time. Class is starting soon. Bye Kokichi have fun with your boyfriend!” Rantaro ran off into the opposite direction of the chemistry room that he was supposed to go to.

“You still have an entire five minutes dumbass!” Kokichi yelled at the disappearing silhouette of Rantaro. With nothing better to do, Kokichi decided to go to his class a bit earlier than usual. He checked his schedule. AP Calculus. Of course. 

Kokichi stepped into the room, hating how awkward it always was at the start of class when there weren’t many students there and the teacher tried to rope you into another meaningless conversation about what you did over the weekend or over what you were going to major in the future. He could already see the teacher moving towards his table out of the corner of his eye when Kiibo called out to him.

“What is this? Kokichi Ouma? On-time to AP Calculus?” the platinum-haired guy said. 

Kiibo was one of his close friends but he was from a different friend group, so Kokichi usually only interacted with him during shared classes like AP Calc. He was a constantly honest guy, whose emotions always showed up on his face. This made it super fun for Kokichi to poke fun at him. Kiibo also tended to be sensitive about a lot of topics, but when he was really passionate about something, he could not stop talking about it. Kokichi had asked him on multiple occasions why Kiibo didn’t just join the Debate Society that Kaito was running. Kiibo never understood why though. His life goal was to become a robotics engineer, which had nothing to do with debate. It surprised Kokichi how he had so many friends who didn’t understand their ultimate talents.

Kiibo sat on the right of Kokichi while Shuichi sat on the left. Kiibo and Shuichi hadn’t been friends at the beginning of the semester, but after Kokichi’s continuous pestering, they developed a pretty close friendship over ‘shared emotional trauma’. Sometimes when Kokichi paid close attention to their interactions, it even looked like they had certain rivalries happening in classes outside of Calc.

Kokichi quickly took his seat next to Kiibo and the teacher walked away, disappointed that the two early students were more engrossed in their conversations and did not pay attention to her. As the next student walked in, the teacher attached herself as soon as possible to them, and Kokichi sympathized with the poor student, who was telling their teacher how her weekend left.

Kiibo continued teasing Kokichi for being early. Kokichi had established a reputation for always being late and being scolded for it. He used to tell the teacher that it was because the distance from the English class to his Calc class was too far, but in reality, Kokichi just wanted to spend as little time doing maths as possible.

‘Then why did you take AP Calc? Why not a non-AP class?’ Shuichi had asked before when he caught Kokichi complaining.

Kokichi couldn’t answer why at that time, but honestly, it was because he wasn’t sure what he was going to study. Who knew, maybe he’d major in electrical engineering or statistics for all he knew. But he didn’t want Shuichi to think he was an indecisive bastard so Kokichi had just skillfully changed the topic at that time.

“So how’d the party go?” Kiibo asked. He was a pretty straight-laced person with strict parents, so he hadn’t had many party experiences so far. Kokichi swore that he was going to bring him to a party before the end of this semester. The poor guy deserved some more fun.

“Dreadful. My head hurt so much and I had to find my way back home after an awful headache. I wanted to kill myself when I reached my house. Also, the events during the party wasn’t that fun either. You know the usual: drama everywhere.”

“Your friend group always has so much drama. You guys didn’t have this much drama last year. Anyway, you should just join mine. We hardly have any drama and my friends like you.” He chuckled and for a second Kokichi had the chance to forget about all the drama and joke with Kiibo about things that had nothing to do with his friend group.

“You know I can’t join your group. Miu hates me and she makes way too many dirty jokes. Moreover, Tenko hates me with a burning passion of 500 suns.”

“As if you don’t make any dirty comments. Also, Tenko only hates you, because you provoke her.”

“Pfft, details details.”

To his left, Kokichi felt the air move as Shuichi sat down. Having forgotten all about the love drama between Shuichi, Rantaro, Tsumugi, and Kaede, Kokichi looked at Shuichi with an excited expression. He had avoided Shuichi all morning because he felt awkward around him after the party. But right now he was just happy to see his best friend.

“Shuichi! I missed you!”

“Kokichi how do you always sound like you haven’t seen me for hundreds of years.”

“One second is equal to an entire year if I don’t get to talk to you, my dear Shuichi.”

“Yeah, no thanks Kokichi. Leave that kind of treatment to your significant other,” Shuichi laughed. 

Kiibo joined in on the conversation. “By the way Shuichi! How’d the party go for you? Kokichi was being a sulky baby about his headache.” Kokichi shot Kiibo a dirty look to which Kiibo replied by sticking his tongue out.

“I thought it was extremely fun. Kaito got me to join the debate society while I was half-drunk and now I regret it,” Shuichi chuckled.

“Wait seriously? Kokichi has been telling me to join it for a while now. If you’re there I might check it out. Do you know when and where they meet?” 

“Of course. Let me find Kaito’s text.” 

While Kokichi usually didn’t pay attention to the dumb competitions between Kiibo and Shuichi, something today propelled him to join in. Perhaps it had been Kiibo’s low voice that had brought him to ease or perhaps it had just felt like years since he last had a conversation with Shuichi that wasn’t about relationships or some depressing shit. 

With high spirits, Kokichi looked over Shuichi’s shoulder as he turned his phone on. However as Shuichi did this, Kokichi caught a glimpse of something that made his breath get caught in his throat. The grey afternoon that had once seemed so calm felt like they were suffocating him and Kokichi struggled to interpret what lie in front of his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exam season is starting for me, so I'll have to, unfortunately, change the upload schedule to once per week. So, I'll be uploading every Wednesday from now on. This way I can write longer chapters like this one and increase my quality. I'll also have more time to take your suggestions into consideration!
> 
> Again, I'm very interested to hear the direction you'd like to see this fanfic going or any other recommendations through the comments! I kept in mind one suggestion by the user Catherine_Howard from the last chapter and introduced an interesting character to the cast.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter and I'll be seeing you next week :)
> 
> \- sunlit


	4. Doubtful Self-Deception by a Self-Proclaimed Ultimate Liar

Kokichi's POV 

Shuichi had changed his lock screen picture. It had been a photo of Shuichi’s dog for a couple of years. However, in place of the cute puppy, there were now three familiar smiling faces. On the right stood Kaito with a thumbs up, in the middle stood Shuichi with a meek smile, and on the left Tsumugi was making a peace sign. 

Kokichi knew he was being unreasonable for being upset with Shuichi about this. It was a simple lock screen wallpaper, not anything life-changing or traumatic. It wasn’t a big deal. Kokichi knew this, yet it still startled him to see the change for personal reasons. The last time he had told Shuichi to change his wallpaper to a picture of the two of them, Shuichi had refused, saying he loved his dog too much. But now Shuichi was sitting there with Kaito’s smug face on his phone’s screen. Kokichi respected Kaito and was really close friends with him, but this made him really want to break that phone’s screen into a million pieces. He looked away and attempted to collect himself.

“Cute new wallpaper,” Kokichi said sarcastically. Shuichi didn’t seem to catch the hint and thanked him. Apparently Kaito had bugged him to change it. Of course, he did. “When was this even taken? I don’t remember this happening.”

“Oh I stayed after the party on Saturday and we all hung out.”

Kokichi had assumed that the rest of the guests had left after the party. However, Shuichi only shook his head and told him only Kokichi and Maki had left. Others had stayed and they’d just hung out for another day. Hearing this, Kokichi felt a little upset. Couldn’t they have told him that?

“You guys have been hanging out a lot lately. You and Kaito. Isn’t Maki getting jealous?” he offered. 

“Oh didn’t you hear?” Kiibo interjected. “They broke up two days ago. That’s why Maki left early! I thought you would know? Aren’t you really close with Kaito and Maki”

Oh great. Kaito wasn’t telling him shit either. 

“Of course I did!” Kokichi lied. “Kaito and I are like brothers from different mothers. How could I have not heard about it? I was just not sure if Shuichi knew yet.” 

The three of them laughed and made jokes about how they’d seen it coming after Kaito got too invested in partying and meeting new people. It wasn’t anything new after all. Kaito and Maki were a cute couple but there had been multiple times last year when they hadn’t seen eye to eye. Kokichi hoped that the two made up soon though because he didn’t know what he’d do with a complaining Kaito in the coming weeks.

‘But what if he doesn’t come complaining to you like he always does and goes to Shuichi?’ a voice in Kokichi’s head said. He stopped laughing. This break-up was worsening the current group dynamic. He had always known that Kaito’s number one was Maki and number two was Shuichi. Not because Kaito liked Shuichi less, it was just polite to your girlfriend. But now that Maki was out of the picture, would Kaito be spending all his time with Shuichi? What was he going to do if that happened? Could Kokichi feel generous enough to share Shuichi’s attention with Kaito? Would Kaito be willing to share Shuichi with Kokichi at all? 

Kokichi felt someone’s hand on his shoulder.

“Kokichi you feeling alright?” Kiibo asked.

“Yeah of course. I just realized I didn’t do my Economics homework that I have last period. Do you think I should excuse myself by telling the teacher I have exploding diarrhea? Do you think she’ll buy it to the extent she’ll let me take my bag to the bathroom?” Kokichi lied.

“Couldn’t you have come up with a less disgusting idea to do your Economics homework? Look I’ll even let you copy off of mine?”

“No can do Mr. Kiibo. We have different teachers. Different teachers equals different homework assignments. Remember last time when I copied off of you and it turned out that wasn’t even the homework assignment?”

“True. Sometimes it feels like we do share a single brain cell.”

The rest of the class was pretty uneventful with Kokichi barely understanding Squeeze Theorems and other boring Calculus theorems. During class, Kokichi wanted to press the issue about the lock screen a bit further. He wanted to at least hear Shuichi’s detective reasoning as to why he had prioritized Kaito’s opinion over Kokichi’s. But every time Kokichi wanted to speak to Shuichi, Kokichi would end up making a dumb joke or a lie to cover it up last minute. Shuichi had found his jokes hilarious and laughed out loud halfway into the lesson. He was on the verge of crying when he had excused himself to go to the bathroom because he couldn’t hold it in any longer. 

When Kokichi watched Shuichi laugh that hard, his belly did a little somersault and his heartbeat quickened. He loved Shuichi’s laugh and how much he appreciated Kokichi’s half-assed jokes. Yes, Shuichi did tell him off after he had returned from the bathroom to ‘Never do that again or I might die during class of a heart attack’. But it was so worth the scolding. 

Watching Shuichi focus so hard in class after that little joke reminded Kokichi about the night of the party. Or at least what he remembered. He didn’t remember a thing about what they had said or how much he had drunk. All he remembered was Shuichi’s long eyelashes, smooth skin, and low, enticing voice. Kokichi shook his head again to forget that memory and focus in class.

While Shuichi seemed carefree, Kokichi did catch Kiibo staring at him a couple of times during class that day. Kiibo’s eyes seemed to scream doubt and concern, but that didn’t concern Kokichi too much. He was the best liar in the neighborhood, Kiibo couldn’t know what was going in Kokichi’s mind. Kiibo was probably just worried about the fact that Kokichi wasn’t doing his Economics homework before class. Jokes on him, Kokichi had lied. He had finished the Economics homework in class a week ago. 

After a while, Kokichi gave up on talking about the lock screen incident and attempted to forget all about it when he and Shuichi were at the subway platform. Kokichi convinced himself that he was being overprotective and possessive. Shuichi was allowed to have other friends and have their photos as his lock screen. He didn’t own Shuichi and nor did Shuichi ever own him. It might’ve been different if Shuichi had been his boyfriend, but as just his best friend Kokichi did not have the right to be upset about the situation.

***

Kokichi kicked open his bedroom door and threw his backpack onto the ground while holding a hot caramel macchiato in his right hand and a couple of books from the library in the other. He sat onto his desk chair with the wheels and put his feet onto the desk. After searching through a couple of drawers, he finally found a bag of chips that had been left half-eaten. As he ate the crunchy snack and drank his Starbuck’s drink, he remembered the last time Shuichi had visited his house, about a month ago.

Personally, Kokichi wasn’t a fan of having people over. His bedroom felt like his safe haven and while he loved his friends to death he loved his personal space even more. However, Shuichi had come over multiple times to work on school projects or Calculus homework that Kokichi couldn’t be bothered to do. Every time Shuichi came over, he’d make some disapproving comment about the state of Kokichi’s room, which had books all over the floor and clothes taking over at least two-thirds of his bed. ‘Why is there half-eaten bags of chips everywhere?’ Shuichi would ask. Sometimes if Shuichi couldn’t take it anymore, he’d act like Kokichi’s mom and clean his room for him. Kokichi would make jokes about how he’d love to have a husband like Shuichi, to which the other boy would only sigh out of exasperation. 

Kokichi loved interactions like these and would sometimes make his room more disgusting before Shuichi’s visit. The worse his room’s state was the longer Shuichi would stay to clean after all. Times like these made Kokichi realize how domestic they would sound and even make himself wonder if he should just marry Shuichi so that he could clean his room up and make him food every day. Kokichi’s chest felt warm as he thought of a future with Shuichi. It felt a bit too warm. Kokichi looked down onto his chest and saw he hadn’t been sipping his caramel macchiato, he had been pouring it down his nice white shirt. 

“Ah shit. Fuck. You son of a bitch.” Kokichi yelled as he stood up, throwing off his now ruined shirt. This had been the third shirt this month that he had ruined thinking about Shuichi and drinking coffee. He really had to get his shit together.

It was cold without his shirt, but Kokichi couldn’t be bothered to go looking through the pile on his bed for a new one, so he stayed shirtless and cold. Scratching his exposed tummy, he turned his phone on. A screen with a picture of Shuichi and Kokichi smiling into the mirror on the school’s elevator greeted him. Kokichi caught himself smiling back at it and he was plagued by the thought of Shuichi looking at the picture of him and Kaito on his lock screen. The picture of Shuichi that he had been remembering lovingly grew distorted with anger and frustration as Kokichi thought about the acts of today. 

‘Why does he keep acting like he’s best friends with Kaito lately.’ Kokichi thought. ‘It’s obvious that Kaito is only fucking around with Shuichi because he’s bored after the break-up with Maki. He does not feel any emotional connection to the friendship with Shuichi. Even if he does, it will never be as close as how much I treasure Shuichi. Why is Shuichi blind to that? Why is he following Kaito so blindly? Why can’t Shuichi just be happy with me as his friend? I don’t have anyone else, unlike Shuichi. Why can’t he do this one thing for me?’

Kokichi was surprised to feel the rage surge within him as he thought of Shuichi. Now he was just confused. Did he treasure Shuichi’s friendship or did he hate him? Why was he feeling these contradictory feelings towards his best friend?

Luckily he knew just who to message when he was having problems with his emotions. Tsumugi was a hopeless romantic who knew how you felt before you did. No wonder she was planning to do a double degree in Arts and Psychology. Kokichi turned his phone on again, as it had turned off while he had been lost in his thoughts and he called Tsumugi. She picked up in an instant. Sometimes Kokichi wondered what she did after school because her responses were way too fast for someone with a busy, productive life. 

“Kokichi my boy what can I do for you today!” Tsumugi’s bright voice rang through the phone and filled his room. Kokichi felt instantly more at ease.

“My girl Tsumugi. How have you been?”

“I have been just wonderful. Even better than before!”

“Oof even though you were rejected a couple of days ago? You’re hard as steel, I kinda feel bad about Rantaro’s feelings.”

“Kokichi! Too soon!”

“My bad. So what are you so upbeat about?”

“I’ll tell you as soon as you tell me why you called? It’s rare for you to reach out to me first and I can tell it’s urgent!”

“Damn and here I was thinking that I was good at hiding my emotions. Fine Shirogane. So there’s this guy that I can’t stop thinking about and I don’t know why. I was hoping your emotional intelligence would help out.”

“I’d need more details about how you’re thinking about this person before I can give you an analysis. ”

“Fine. Every time I think about them I feel really warm and fuzzy. Their laugh makes me feel nauseous as fuck and a minute away from them feels like forever. Is this how friends feel towards each other?”

“Um, Kokichi you can’t be that dumb. You obviously have a crush on whoever this is.”

“No that can’t be true. Let me finish. Thinking about them makes me happy. But also some of the things they do make me really upset and angry.”

“Elaborate?”

“I’m getting there! Situations like when they meet other people or when they don’t seem to be really listening to what I’m saying. And other times it’s just random. When I see them my chest hurts. That’s not having a crush. I’ve had a fair share of crushes in the past, I’m not dumb to mistake that as crushing on someone.”

“Oh my god. You’re right Kokichi. You don’t have a crush on this person.”

“See I told you so-”

“You’re in fucking love,” Tsumugi yelled into my ear.

“Wait what.”

“You’re in love! If he makes your heart ache but also makes you happy. You’re in love. This duality is what distinguishes between a crush and a lover! Congratulations Kokichi you’re experiencing love for the first time in your life. This is so exciting.”

“I mean if you put it like that…” Kokichi began and he felt his face getting warmer by the second. Tsumugi didn’t sound like she was bullshitting him. Kokichi had liked people before, so he was not dumb enough to not know what it felt like. His head went spinning. But before it spun out of control, Kokichi stopped. He wasn’t dumb enough to fall for his friend, regardless of what anyone said. He was only feeling confused because of Rantaro’s words from before. This was not love.

“So who is it? You already said it wasn’t Shuichi. So is it perhaps Kaito? Then you’re lucky because he just got out of a relationship! Or maybe Kiibo? I don’t know him that well but you two look like you’re getting along well.”

Desperate to change the conversation, Kokichi changed the topic. “Less about me Tsumugi, what were you going to talk about?” 

“Oh, nice timing! I wanted to tell you about this new guy I’ve had my eye on lately.”  
“Of course. You’re heart changes fast.”

“Take me seriously Kokichi. This time I’m sure this is the right guy for me. Sure I really liked Rantaro, but I understand his situation. Honestly, I’m a supporter for crushing on multiple guys at once so I don’t think my switch is that irrational.”

“You’re circling around the issue Shirogane. Who is it?”

“Want to guess?”

“Not really.”

“Fine I’ll tell you. But you need to promise me you won’t be jealous!”

“Jealous?”

“Yeah. I’m in love with your best friend Shuichi after all!”

Kokichi ended the call. He sat down at the edge of his bed. Slowly and steadily. His fingers trembled. He looked up to his small, rectangular windows to his right. The void was seeping in through the frames and had made a shallow pool by his feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been an entire week and I've been dying to show you the new chapter!  
> This chapter turned into a very emotionally confusing chapter because of Kokichi's confusion haha. I feel like the title summarizes everything pretty well though. I still hope that you all enjoyed this week's chapter even after my abrupt change in upload schedule.
> 
> As always, I'm interested to hear the direction everyone would like to see this fanfic going or any other recommendations through the comments!
> 
> See you next week,  
> \- sunlit


	5. A Love Triangle Doesn’t Have Enough Sides for All of Us

Kokichi's POV 

Rantaro liked Kaede, but Kaede ‘wasn’t over Shuichi’. Tsumugi used to like Rantaro and was definitely not over him but was trying to have Shuichi as her rebound. Maki was not talking to Kaito after their bad break-up. Kaito seemed to be trying to use Shuichi as his “rebound”, whether that was platonic or not was beyond Kokichi’s knowledge. And Kokichi? 

Kokichi hesitated next to the line connecting him and Shuichi. He tapped his pencil on his desk multiple times. He couldn’t believe he was actually drawing an entire diagram for this dilemma. He folded the paper and stuffed it into his backpack. This was ridiculous.

Two weeks. Two entire weeks had passed since Kokichi had gotten caught up in this entire mess that was his friend group’s love triangle. Hell, it wasn’t even a love triangle at this point. There were so many lines going here and there. You couldn’t even properly understand what was going on if you didn’t draw an entire diagram for it.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Kokichi slowly opened and was greeted by Gonta’s and Rantaro’s smiling faces. Rantaro wore olive-colored cargo pants and a loose striped shirt. In his hand, he held a plastic bag full of canned beverages, which seemed to be his new attempt at bribing Kokichi to listen to his rants about Kaede. He didn’t need to bribe Gonta, as that guy was too nice to even consider not listening. Speaking of Gonta, he wore a Hawaiian shirt with white khakis. He gave a truly iconic ‘dad-vibe’, which suited him well. 

Seeing the two dressed up made Kokichi self-conscious about what he was sporting. A black tank top and white shorts made up Kokichi’s outfit. While the difference in effort made Kokichi feel a tad miserable, he came to the conclusion that it was alright since they were meeting over at his house. Kokichi had no one to impress here anyway.

Rantaro handed Kokichi the drinks and so he began throwing some into the refrigerator and the rest onto the table.

“Welcome to my crib bitches,” Kokichi said.

“Thank you very much for having us Kokichi. It was very considerate.”

“No problem Gonta. You don’t have to be so formal.”

“No seriously! I would’ve offered my place but you guys dislike my pet insects…” Gonta trailed off.

“Don’t worry big guy,” Rantaro interjected. “Kokichi’s the one that offered to listen to my love woes so you have nothing to feel bad about.”

Technically Kokichi hadn’t ‘offered’. A better term to use in context would’ve been ‘peer-pressured’ but Kokichi bit his tongue.

“Anyway, I’m surprised that you still haven’t asked Kaede out,” Kokichi began.

“Well the thing is she said she needed time, which I completely understand. Getting out of a relationship? Not an easy task. But she never specified how long and I don’t want to be too straightforward and mess things up.”

“Of course. Totally not like your first confession wasn’t rushed.”

“Shut up Kokichi.”

“I’m just joking.” 

“Well my friend Gonta here is really good friends with Kaede, so he’s been acting as my inside source,” Rantaro continued to which Gonta nodded. “According to what he’s observing, he thinks I should wait longer. But I wanted a third perspective on the issue, so here we are.”

“That’s great! Lay out the facts for me sire and I will do my best to connect the dots,” Kokichi said

“You don’t connect shit.”

“I connect the dots.”

“Okay, well regardless of what Gonta told me, I personally think that I should start thinking about confessing. She seems over Shuichi and she seems to really like me.”

“Well bring out the evidence Rantaro. I cannot help you without anything concrete.”

“Alright. Last week, Kaede and I were in the library with a couple other people. She came later than me. Then she looked around and our eyes met. After that she proceeded to sit next to me. And that's not all. She also rested her head on my shoulders! Isn’t that a total giveaway, she likes me.”

“Interesting. However have you ever considered how touchy Kaede is with everyone?”

“She doesn’t hug you or act around you in that way!” Rantaro said defensively

“Yeah not to ME, we’re not that close. But her and Gonta? They’re all over each other.”

Rantaro looked at Gonta with a betrayed look. Gonta didn’t understand and just tilted his head sideways in confusion.

“Kokichi is right!” he said with a big smile. “We are very good friends! She has helped me a lot when I first transferred! Helped me with my English.”

*** 

The next few hours went in a similar fashion with Rantaro offering ‘hypothetical’ situations and asking whether he was overanalyzing or not. Gonta and Kokichi had found reasons to disprove every example he threw at them. After they had eaten dinner, Rantaro had left in a fit, telling the two they were the worst best friends he had ever had. Gonta had decided to leave soon after.

Gonta’s tall figure towered over Kokichi as he stood at the doorway to Kokichi’s house. His eyes shifted back and forth and Gonta kept rubbing the back of his neck. 

“What is it Gonta?” Kokichi finally spoke up. He could tell that the big guy had been wanting to tell him something for some time now. Gonta looked relieved to be able to finally tell Kokichi what he seemed to have been dying to ask.

“How are you Kokichi?” he asked cautiously.

“You stole worried glances at me all day just to ask me that? I’m fine?” Kokichi said. He tried to make it sound funny but all he could get out of his mouth was exasperation.

“Kokichi misunderstood. Perhaps. It was my own fault for the bad phrasing. You have been very distant from us lately. It’s been two weeks and you haven’t joined us for a single gettogether during that time. Also, you don’t talk to Shuichi and Kaito anymore. And I feel like you’ve been drinking for a while!” A waterfall of words came rushing out of Gonta, as he finally told Kokichi his worries. “Rantaro actually came over to my place but I asked him to come with me and hang out at your place. I wanted to talk with you very badly.”

“That’s ridiculous, Gonta. What makes you say all that.” Kokichi flashed Gonta his signature grin but felt the lack of cooperation in the muscles of his face. 

Gonta wasn’t completely right. Kokichi hadn’t been avoiding Shuichi. He just understood that he should leave the area if Shuichi was there with Kaito because he knew that Kaito’s loud voice would only drown him out. What was the point of speaking with his best friend if he couldn’t hear him over the roaring beast next to him? Kokichi also couldn’t talk to Shuichi when Tsumugi was around because he was being a good wingman. He was giving them space for Tsumugi to shoot her shot. It wasn’t like he as purposefully avoiding Shuichi. Sure, he did avoid his gaze a number of times but that was only because he felt awkward talking to Shuichi lately.

Now the drinking was unfortunately accurate. He had begun drinking alone, but Gonta should not know that. Perhaps it was his dark circles in the mornings after a night of indulging in alcohol. Or perhaps it was the fact that most of Kokichi’s clothes had begun to reek because he kept on spilling them after he began feeling tipsy. He made a mental note to do his laundry so that his teachers didn’t think he was an alcoholic. 

“I’m not drinking Gonta. You always worry too much.”

“Are you sure?” Gonta asked.

“Calm down big boy,” Kokichi chuckled. “It’s all fine here in Kokichi’s crib. Though it could do with a bit more cleaning. Wanna clean this place up my man?”

“No thanks…” 

Why had Kokichi bothered? This manipulation only worked on Shuichi. Kokichi felt sick as he remembered Shuichi and Tsumugi’s request.

“Well, it’s late and I hate to be that person Gonta but it’s time for me to do my Economics homework. I’ll see you tomorrow at school!”

“Okay. But you can always message me when you’re feeling bad. I’m always here for -“

“No need to worry Gonta. Bye!”

“But-”

Gonta’s words were cut off as Kokichi impatiently slammed the door on him. He loved the guy but sometimes he really couldn’t pick up on the vibe. Kokichi was tired from all the socializing. Suddenly, a shining object caught Kokichi’s eye from under his desk. He crouched down to get a better look. After realizing what it was, he fished it out carefully. A half-opened vodka bottle. It hit Kokichi that Gonta probably told him that because of the bottle on the floor. Kokichi had been for this fucker all morning. He had no recollection of putting it in there but then again he did nearly drink himself to death last night.

“Seems like that wasn’t enough,” Kokichi mumbled to himself. He considered putting it back into the liquor cabinet. As he considered doing so, a warm ray of the sunset bounced off the surface of the bottle. It seemed to be gleaming as beautifully as a thousand crushed gemstones. The orange hue rekindled a forgotten memory of that day. Pushing Gonta, Tsumugi, and Shuichi out of his thoughts, Kokichi began blindly grabbing for a cup of any form. The first thing Kokichi touched was a mug on the corner of his desk. As an unnerving thirst began rising within him, he took the mug and began pouring the liquid into it. Not once did he look away from the orange light that seemed to be emerging from the bottle. Not once.

***

Kokichi slowly opened his eyes, which felt awfully crusty and disgusting. Confused he grabbed his phone from next to him. Forcing his eyes to focus, he checked the time. 8:00. That was rather early. Kokichi began patting himself on the back when his eyes lowered and he saw the day. Monday.

Fuck. He had missed his train. Fuck. 

His entire body seemed to ache as he stood up. His legs seemed to be giving out. And his head. God fucking damnit his fucking head. After cursing himself to all nine circles of hell, Kokichi packed his bag, changed into a new shirt, and left his house. 

Fuck. He was a dumb shit to drink on a school night.

Kokichi flung himself into the next train. He was a sweaty mess. Flipping his head from side to side, he looked for a seat so he could relax for a second. However, it seemed like the world was against him because as much as he looked, this train was packed. There was a reason Kokichi took such early trains in the morning.

Jesus fucking christ. 

He ran into the school gates, haphazardly showing his school ID and stuffing it back into his bag. The school in front of him seemed to be towering over him menacingly that morning. The rising sun was drawing long shadows, enveloping Kokichi with the shade. However, even if the direct rays didn’t seem to be hitting his skin, the suffocating heat seemed to remain. But Kokichi didn’t have too much time to think about this foreboding omen. Shutting his eyes closed to ignore the headache and nausea that was being created by last night’s alcohol churning in his veins, Kokichi rushed into AP Calculus, barely getting in before the school bell rang. As he threw his baggage onto the chair, Kiibo welcomed him with a friendly good morning. Kokichi gave him a half-hearted wave. He felt so gross. So disgusting. He was a sweating mess. He couldn’t think. To top it off, he was in his least favorite class ever. In addition, he would be forced to sit next to Shuichi, someone he didn’t want to show this kind of a face to. 

As soon as Kokichi had sat down, the teacher began their class. However, Kokichi soon felt that it was a waste of effort to try and listen to anything she was saying. His head was throbbing and due to all the running, his stomach wasn’t keeping up either. Was he some sort of superman? How the fuck did he run from his house to school with such a hungover body?

Kokichi looked up and analyzed the class dynamic. Today seemed to be a lecture-type class. The teacher wasn’t trying to be ‘fun’ and ‘interactive’. Kiibo was next to him taking notes furiously. If the teacher asked any question in Kokichi’s direction, he was sure that Kiibo would cover for him.

Kokichi quietly put his bag on his table and turned his phone on. According to his notification, he had missed a ton of messages this morning. He quickly scanned through the various concerned messages from Gonta and annoying messages from Rantaro. Finally, he reached the group chats. As Kokichi read what was written in the chat, he felt himself easing back into his chair. Shuichi was sick today, meaning that he wouldn’t have to see Kokichi’s poor physical and mental shape. However, as he began calming down, the nausea seemed to hit him with one final critical heat. It felt like someone had just punched him in the gut. He had to raise his hand to ask to go to the bathroom. But he felt like as soon as he would open his mouth, all of last night’s contents would come spewing out. 

As Kokichi looked around furiously, cupping his hand over his mouth, he felt the air shift to his right. Kiibo had raised his hand.

“Mrs? Kokichi isn’t looking too good. I think I should bring him to the nurse,” Kiibo said.

“Kiibo you living angel,” Kokichi groaned. Hearing this, Kiibo flashed him a kind but worried smile.

*** 

When they entered the bathroom, Kokichi ran into the nearest stall and emptied the contents of his stomach. His throat felt like it was burning and water began rising in his eyes, but he persevered. While he didn’t feel perfect, he felt that the worst part was over. Sighing as he flushed the remains down the toilet, he turned to face Kiibo who looked less than happy.

“Kokichi what’s going on?”

“It’s not rocket science Kiibo. You said it yourself, I’m just a little sick.”

“I saw you holding your head in pain as you entered the classroom.”

“So? If I’m sick my head could hurt when I’m sick.”

“Sure. Then how are you going to explain you reeking of alcohol?”

Kokichi took a sniff of his sleeve. Then it hit him, he had only changed his pants this morning. The shirt had an awful stench. He was a mess and Kiibo knew.

“Fine. I drank a little over the weekend. Why? Are you worried about me? That’s so sweet!” Kokichi turned his voice sickeningly sweet, hoping to rid Kiibo’s worries.

“Yes. I’m worried about you.”

“Because you care for me?” Kokichi took another stab at Kiibo’s determination.

“Yes. Because I care for you.” This wasn’t going according to Kokichi’s plans. He had hoped Kiibo would leave him be in the bathroom. Why hadn’t he lied and told him that he had diarrhea? It would’ve saved him from this mess of a conversation.

“Look, I really appreciate it, my man. But it’s alright. I just drank for fun. You should try loosening up once in a while.”

“Is this about Shuichi?”

Kiibo’s direct question caught Kokichi off guard and he struggled to find words to rebuke. However, Kokichi could tell that his hesitation said all that needed to be said about the situation.

“I don’t know what’s going on between you two. But it’s really obvious that you’re not getting along. It’s really easy to notice once you’re only bugging me during that class. You don’t even look at Shuichi anymore. The awkwardness between you is crazy”

“What are you implying?”

“I’m just asking if Shuichi did anything to piss you off? Because if he did I wouldn’t let him go.”

“I mean he didn’t directly do anything…”

“If being around him makes you so unhappy…. Then why are you constantly with him?”

“Is this it? Do you have some grudge against Shuichi? ”

“No. This came out wrong… I’m ashamed to admit that I’m actually elated about this development.”

“What do you mean?”

“This isn’t about me Kokichi. Don’t try and change the topic.”

“Well, I just did. What do you mean you like this new development?”

“Damnit. This wasn’t how I was planning on doing this.”

Kiibo’s face started to get red. It seemed that he hadn’t predicted for the conversation to go this way. He started fiddling with his fingers. As Kokichi didn’t say anything and Kiibo wouldn’t look up0 from his hands, a strange silence fell like a veil over the two in the dirty boy’s bathroom in the corner of the school, just a couple of steps away from Shuichi sitting in his class. Time seemed to have come to a standstill and the little drops of water from the leaky faucet next to Kokichi felt like torture. But as he looked around lost, confused, and awkward, Kiibo seemed to be collecting himself. He took two big breaths as if he were preparing for battle. Then, looking straight into Kokichi’s eyes, Kiibo opened his mouth.

“Kokichi. I would never treat you so dismissively like Shuichi does. Whatever you say won’t change my mind. He doesn’t treat you right!”

Kokichi grew speechless. He hadn’t known Kiibo disliked Shuichi so much.

“So… how about you forget about Shuichi from now on?” 

“Kiibo what are you saying?” Kokichi stammered.

“Kokichi. What do you think about me?”

Mentally, Kokichi drew an arrow from Kiibo to Kokichi. He would have to update his diagram at home. This situation was getting more entangled by the second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the longest I've written so far, so I hope you excuse my late update.  
> I think the title was rather self-explanatory. My main goal with this was to introduce the friendship dynamics between a few characters. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy! I will be keeping a lookout for comments about your predictions! :)
> 
> -sunlit


	6. Starry Nights and Fiery Sunsets

Kokichi's POV.

“Kokichi. What do you think about me?”

Time seemed to have stopped as the two boys stood silently, five feet apart, next to a row of dirty urinals. For the first time, Kokichi felt his eyes not drawn to the long shadows scrawled on the floor, but to the eyes of someone else. A slight chill crept down Kokichi’s spine as Kiibo did not break their eye contact. 

“I…” Kokichi began, but he couldn’t finish. He was so confused and rattled that it seemed forming an entire thought was past the capabilities of his brain. 

Suddenly Kiibo stepped forward. He came closer and closer to Kokichi. While Kokichi tried to not show his surprise, it seemed like he was frozen in place, unable to make a single move or make any sound. Kiibo continued to walk towards Kokichi, only stopping centimeters away from his face. Amidst the tension in the room, Kokichi couldn’t help wondering whether Kiibo had always had such striking blue eyes. Had he been always watching Kokichi with those eyes? It was such a sharp contrast with the warm hues of the setting sun that were reflected in Shuichi’s grey eyes. Somewhat unsettling and unfamiliar. 

Wait. Did Kokichi say unfamiliar? No. These eyes would seem unfamiliar at first glance, but their existence had been scratched firmly into his mind. While staring into Kiibo’s eyes, Kokichi felt himself being transported to a different time and place. The only constant being the piercing gaze of his friend that made him question his entire being.

Kokichi remembered darkness. It wasn’t the suffocating darkness of the void that he had experienced at Kaito’s. No. This darkness was a liberating kind. It was a sky full of stars. A sky full of stars above two boys awkwardly standing in the subway station. The sun had set half an hour ago. How had they gotten here? A couple of days ago, Kokichi had found a flyer lying around in his house promoting a local summer fireworks festival that was happening over the course of two days. He wasn’t really the type to go around looking for social meetings but he had never seen fireworks so close before. As it was going to be the last summer before the end of high school, Kokichi thought he’d cut himself some slack. However, he remembered the disappointment that had come when he had spoken to his friends.

“You guys are all busy during summer break?” 

Apparently, everyone had actual plans over summer, unlike Kokichi who was stuck at home, blasting the AC and binging a bunch of Netflix shows. Gonta had gone MIA while camping in the woods to catch some rare bugs for his next bug exhibition. Kaito and Maki had flown to a nearby country and were doing ‘touristy things’. Shuichi was busy with an internship in his uncle’s detective firm. Kaede was too busy prepping for her piano recital with an international orchestra. And lastly, Rantaro and Tsumugi were gone on a theatre workshop, Rantaro playing the lead, while Tsumugi designed the costumes. It had seemed like such a lost cause until Kokichi found one last phone number in his contacts. 

Kokichi was doubtful about hitting Kiibo up. It wasn’t like they talked outside of their classes and he didn’t know the guy that well anyway. But with no one else to go with, he dialed the phone number, awkwardly made some plans, and met up with the guy at the festival’s subway station.

It was definitely uncomfortable at first. But the ice soon melted as Kokichi taught Kiibo about the wonders of mixing alcohol. The two had bought the drinks with Kokichi’s self-made fake ID and had hidden in a dark alley behind the festival in order to not get caught by the many policemen stationed around the area. Kiibo was extremely worried about getting caught in the beginning and he stole quick gulps of the drinks that Kokichi mixed for him. As the silhouettes of the two boys were illuminated by the neon lights of the Ferris wheel in the distance, the two began to talk. 

Kokichi didn’t remember the specifics of what they talked about. It was a lot of random shit for all he knew. Asking questions about whether robots have dicks or attempting to open bottles by smashing it on fences, the two had enjoyed every second. 

Kokichi might have been too drunk to remember correctly, but he could recall Kiibo’s eyes constantly flitting over to his own, desperately searching for contact. But Kokichi was too busy making up stories to reciprocate.

As his fifth made-up story hit the climax, his eyes caught a trail of light flying to the dark wondrous star-filled sky. It resembled an airplane trail or perhaps a stem of a plant. He followed the trail until he was taken aback by beautiful flowers bursting into flames. Sparks of red, blue, and purple flew just a couple feet behind him from the shining booths of the festival. His eyesight was a mess after the numerous drinks, but this made it all the better, as the many colors seemed to be overlapping in a dance to a music Kokichi could not hear nor dare listen to. The sky that had once been beautifully laid out with stars was now being streaked with colors here and there. While a small part of Kokichi regretted that he had moved away from the main festival, he also realized that by standing farther away, he could see the entire firework for its beauty. 

Kokichi began to grow curious about how Kiibo would be reacting to the wonderful light show happening behind him. Excited, he turned around to finally face Kiibo and turn his back to the fireworks. However, what he saw then made his smile drop in wonder and confusion. The wonder was created by the pitch-black behind Kiibo. His eyes had grown so accustomed to the colorful displays of light that he had forgotten what a mystifying backdrop they had begun with. But it was once Kokichi’s eyes had fallen lower when he was struck with confusion. Kiibo’s eyes were not looking up to the fireworks behind Kokichi. Instead, they were fixated onto Kokichi. Kiibo’s eyes reflected back the blue fireworks occurring behind Kokichi, but in the middle of all that was a small dark silhouette, Kokichi. It seemed like he was gazing at a painting encompassing both Kokichi and the rapid fireworks behind him. Almost as if looking through Kokichi, he felt like Kiibo hadn’t even looked at the fireworks once that night.

Embarrassed, Kokichi remembered turning away and facing the colorful sky again. He did not remember a lot from that day, but that piercing gaze coming from Kiibo’s startingly light-colored eyes was unforgettable. And now, it was back. However, this time it wasn’t gazing bewitched at a scene. No, unlike the time at the fireworks display, Kiibo’s eyes were searching. For lies or truth? Perhaps a hint? Or an entire answer? One thing was clear to Kokichi, it seemed like he was searching for something that wasn’t there because his eyebrows were furrowed and so much energy was being used up for this one gaze. 

As Kiibo brought their faces closer, their noses touched slightly. The cold chill emanating from Kiibo’s body shocked Kokichi and Kokichi flinched, moving away from Kiibo out of habit. As Kokichi flinched, Kiibo seemed to have found what he was looking for, because Kokichi felt Kiibo slowly backing away from him again.

“Just kidding Kokichi,” Kiibo smirked. He ruffled the dark hair of the shorter boy.

“Wha- what happened?”

“I pulled a prank on you! Finally, after all those weeks of torture, I finally got my revenge. Now go end your ‘lover’s quarrel’ with Shuichi.”

Kokichi felt himself get hotter by the second. It had seemed so genuine that he had totally fallen for it. He straightened his clothes and glared at Kiibo who was laughing hard.

“You’re the worst friend ever. I regret calling you an angel. You’re the spawn of Satan!” Kokichi pouted, overreacting to save himself the embarrassment of being pranked successfully by Kiibo out of all people. He pushed the laughing Kiibo out of the way. “You ruined my day.”

As Kokichi began to leave, he saw Kiibo leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom, staring intently at Kokichi’s back, from the corner of his eye. His arms were crossed. On his face was a smirk. At first glance, it looked sly and seemed to be mocking Kokichi and his blunder. But as Kokichi turned around to walk out into the hallways, he felt that Kiibo’s previously sharp eyes had an almost pitiful sadness within them. 

“Damnit Kokichi. And here I thought you were talented at spotting when people are lying,” Kiibo’s voice barely made it into Kokichi’s ear and made him wonder whether he was supposed to hear that last line or not. However, that last thought was flushed out of his thoughts by the sound of the leaky faucet opening and rushing endless supply of water onto the sinks.

“What took you so long? Hey, where did Kiibo go?” Shuichi asked as Kokichi slumped into his chair. 

“It’s nothing. Probably jerking off in the bathroom. That guy looks like he seriously has a lot of pent up frustration,” Kokichi replied, not looking into Shuichi’s direction.

“Jeez. Have you ever heard of TMI, Kokichi?” Shuichi groaned.

“Oh please, I am the definition of TMI. You don’t have to push it.” The last line came off a bit defensive. Shuichi looked hurt and confused, but Kokichi didn’t go out of his way to explain it any further. His head was messed up after Kiibo’s dumb prank and Shuichi’s face wasn’t making it any better. Shuichi seemed like he was going to reply to Kokichi’s retort, but he shut his mouth, probably having convinced himself that staying silent would help his case. For all Kokichi could say, it didn’t. 

***

Kokichi stomped his way to the subway platform. Aside from the whole “being hungover” fiasco, the rest of the day hadn’t been that much better. Lunch, which used to be Kokichi’s favorite school subject, wasn’t any fun anymore. It was Kaito and Tsumugi on either side of Shuichi, the three of them having the time of their lives. It surprised Kokichi how much he had been relying on his friendship with Shuichi being a given. He hadn’t really cultivated his other friendships and it really showed at the lunch table. Rantaro and Kaede were gone, doing their own thing like always. The only other person Kokichi had tried to befriend at least a little was Maki. Their friendship was interesting to say the least as they were laced with insults and mocking. But it was only friendly exchanges and the inside jokes that they had created had been rather phenomenal. It was a shame that she had to break up with Kaito and refused to sit at their table anymore. Gonta at least tried to talk to Kokichi. But he would’ve appreciated the gesture more if he hadn’t felt like he was being interrogated by the morals police or nagged on by his mother.

“Kokichi! I heard about this morning from Kiibo!” he said

‘Kiibo that little bitch,’ Kokichi thought. ‘Was pranking me not enough? Did he have to fucking tell Gonta about it?’

“It’s all good, Gonta. Stop worrying so much. It was a little drinking and a little fun. And we love fun around here don’t we?” he laughed.

“Of course we do!” Kaito yelled. “Speaking of fun! Are we hanging out this weekend at my place again or what? It’s been forever since any of y’all came over to my house!”

A string of agreements arose from around the table. Kokichi stayed silent. However, he saw that Shuichi had noticed his silence.

“Hey Kokichi. What about yo-” He was cut short by Kaito interjecting.

“Don’t bother asking Kokichi,” Kaito said. “He’s probably lying and is planning on ditching last minute like the last two to three weeks.”

“Nishishi. Kaito knows me too well. But I won’t disclose whether I’m coming or not. It’ll be a surprise!” Kokichi replied. This was routine after all. 

“You’re such a dick, Ouma. Be more like Shuichi here!” Kaito laughed.

“Shut up Momota.”

In any previous meet-up discussions, Shuichi usually ignored the arguments between the two and would add Kokichi into the group chat anyway. However, Kokichi was met with the same cold shoulder he had given Shuichi moments prior. He seemed much too busy laughing with Tsumugi about some inside joke that Kokichi wasn’t cool enough to get. 

He knew he was being unreasonable. He had stopped talking to Shuichi first, it was only natural that he would stop trying to start conversations with him after a while. If Kokichi were in the same spot as Shuichi, receiving endless attention from the people around him, he knew that he’d make the same mistake. It was natural to share friends. Was it natural to feel so hurt when his eyes met Shuichi’s though?

“Kokichi!” 

He turned around to see who was calling for him. A dark-haired boy was running towards him. As Kokichi’s eyes began getting accustomed to the bright sunset behind the boy, he realized that it was none other than Shuichi. The sky behind Shuichi seemed to be melting due to excess warmth radiating from the sun. This painting seemed to resemble a watercolor that was accidentally dropped into a puddle. Rays melting in hues of yellow, orange, and red. A stark contrast to the starry skies from a long-ago past. 

“Hey,” he said quietly.

“Kokichi, I want to talk to you.” 

“Wow, first Gonta then Kiibo and now you? Call me the luckiest boy in the world for all this attention.”

“I just want to talk about these last few weeks. About the fact that you’ve been ignoring me.”

“Oh have I? Wow, masterful detective work there. Anyway, time is money, Shuichi. At least buy me something to drink. Like a Fanta perhaps. I’m thirsty.”

While Kokichi was giving such weak responses, something within him was excited. Perhaps Shuichi was going to apologize. Perhaps they were going to go back to how it was before. Perhaps he’d even tell Kokichi that he was going to change. With high hopes, Kokichi continued to listen.

“What’s going on? Am I out of the loop or something?”

“What are your thoughts on jealousy between friends?” Kokichi blurted. “Asking for a friend…”

“Hmm.” Shuichi scrunched his nose in concentration. “I think it’s dumb.”

“Oh really?” Well there went all the hope he had had of Shuichi understanding where he was coming from. “Why would you say it’s dumb?”

“I think it’s ridiculous that we should be bound down by one person. We’re free to befriend anyone we like and as many people as we want. Don’t you agree? So why be jealous if you could feel happy that they made more friends?”

“I guess. What if it’s like best friends?”

“Who says we can’t have more than one best friend?”

“I understand but what if your best friend wants to be the only one.”

“Hm. I still don’t really get it. I mean jealousy, feeling possessive that’s all things that happen between two people in a relationship right?”

“But you can totally feel it when the new best friends have feelings for each other!”

“Doesn’t that just mean that the previous friend is only jealous because of those feelings? So then the friend doesn’t see themselves as close friends rather it’s a person they like and they don’t want them to be taken away. I feel like if they do like them in that way, then it’s kind of dumb for them to disguise those feelings as friendship and expect to be in a relationship.”

“That made no sense.”

“Long story short. The other friend is just having ridiculous standards for the other. Either get in a relationship with them or I’d let them live their lives however they want. Was this what was making you sad, Kokichi? Is there something going on between you and a friend? Perhaps Kiibo?”

“Nah, that was just a hypothetical situation. I read it in a book or something. Anyway I’m super stressed about the dumb Calculus exam we’ve got coming up,” Kokichi lied. 

Now that he knew how Kokichi felt about individuals ‘disguising’ their feelings as friendships and having extreme expectations there was no way Shuichi would understand him. Shuichi’s words made Kokichi think. Shuichi seemed to be saying unbiased facts. As a friend Kokichi should be happy that Shuichi had more friends. It shouldn’t bug him too much. When Maki, who used to be in a different group, joined his friend group and made friends, Kokichi didn’t remember feeling this upset about it. When Kaito, who used to be best friends with Kokichi, began to befriend other people, Kokichi was never this jealous. Looking at Kaito’s face hadn’t hurt like it hurt him to look at Shuichi’s.

“I’m just too dumb for that,” he continued.

“Please Kokichi. You’re in the AP class! There’s a reason you’re there,” Shuichi seemed relieved that this was Kokichi’s only concern.

If all of it was true, what did that say about Kokichi’s feelings to Shuichi? Was he a mere friend? A best friend? Or was Kokichi using his friendship as a way to have an ‘unofficial relationship’ with Shuichi that Shuichi never consented to? Was he the clown in his own circus? Had he been subconsciously ruining his friendship with Shuichi through his greed? Was he to blame? 

His mind was absolutely racing, but the one thing he couldn’t betray was his disappointment. It had been true. All of his previous actions pointed in the same direction. He had liked Shuichi but had never dared to act on it. There had been hints literally everywhere from when Tsumugi asked him whether he liked Shuichi to when Kiibo thought there had been a “lovers quarrel” between him and Shuichi. He did like Shuichi. But what was the point of knowing this now, long after Shuichi made it obviously clear that he detested individuals who manipulated their friendships for their love lives? Kokichi had finally managed to pinpoint his feelings for Shuichi but at what cost?

“Sometimes you really overestimate my capabilities, Shuichi,” Kokichi laughed. “Even though you’d know best that I’m a fucking degenerate who can’t even memorize simple equations.”

Shuichi’s smile faltered.

“That’s not true though. And you know that!”

“It’s fine. It’s fine. Everyone knows it and I was the only one who was having fucking delusions thinking that I was worth anything in the first place. Kind of makes me wonder why I hadn’t given up before.”

There was a pause. Kokichi needed a second to think. Where had this come from? He was just thinking about himself and Shuichi’s friendship. There was no reason to degrade himself in front of Shuichi. But for some reason, Kokichi could not stop his own word vomit. 

“Kokichi. You are worth a lot. Don’t sell yourself short. You in some kind of “depressive” phase right now?” Shuichi made air quotation marks.

“No it just hit me that I literally don’t even deserve to take another breath in this world.”

“That’s called a depressive phase Kokichi.”

“Perhaps this is just my degenerate nature showing up. You know me. I’m the definition of fucking degenerate scum. I’m never depressive.”

“Oh you are! Look at you right now!”

“Come on Shuichi. That word doesn’t fit me. Don’t you think?”

Kokichi was upset. He was mad at Shuichi for acting like he knew everything. He was angry at himself for ruining everything he touched. Why he had decided to draw that one extra stroke on the beautiful painting that was his friend group. He was embarrassed and fuming and Shuichi’s calm voice was not helping. All this anger he felt, Kokichi channeled out on Shuichi. He felt the volume of his voice increasing yet he had no power within himself to stop it. His heartbeat was quickening at a speed he could not pinpoint. The sunset seemed to be looking at him with glaring rays. The stoplight in the distance flashed red. It was finally autumn, so why was Kokichi sweating so much? The red sun. The red traffic light. The red leaves on the ground. Kokichi felt his mind go up in flames as the environment around him seemed to be pulsating with a despicable hue of red. 

“Kokichi everyone goes through that at one point. Don’t let it get to you. I know you’re a great person and you should know that. Is it just me or are we not talking about the Calculus exam anymore?”

“Everyone? Don’t shit me like that,” Kokichi began. He walked up to Shuichi, grabbed his shirt collars, and pulled him down to be the same eye-level with Kokichi. “At one point? I’m sorry to break it to you but I feel like this every day and no goddamn joke will fucking fix that! So stop acting like a goddamn know-it-all about me. This is what I always hate about you. You don’t know shit about me and what I went through because of you. Why don’t you just go away and fuck yourself!”

Kokichi caught himself before he continued. His head hurt and his throat was sore from all the yelling. When had he started yelling?

“Just… just kidding! I don’t know why I said that. Got a bit carried away,” Kokichi began to backtrack. He tore his eyes away from Shuichi. “I probably made you uncomfortable. I hope I didn’t make you upset before going to Kaito’s. I heard you’re hanging out today too. Damn.”

“Just stop. I can’t watch you shit on yourself like this. I want you to know you’re worth a lot and to a lot of people.”

“I should go and stop bothering you with these jokes. I’m sorry. Have fun.”

Kokichi hopped off the subway platform and kept running to the direction of his home. The fiery sunset seemed to be burning him alive. The tears that had suddenly formed while he was running kept streaming from his eyes. Why was he crying? He didn’t know. But the tears seemed endless. It blurred his sight and the once so beautiful ball of flame across the horizon seemed so distant and nonexistent. He brought his hand up and spread his fingers, attempting to catch those rays of light into his palm, so that they would never slip past him again. But just like any other endeavor of Kokichi’s, they just fell through the spaces in between his fingers. The sun itself was one more thing he could not control nor keep for himself.

It took him at least two hours of running to reach his home. Tired. Empty. Lost. Kokichi entered his dirty room and slumped onto a pile of his clothes. The sun had long set, but Kokichi’s blinds were shut so the stars weren’t visible either. It was just Kokichi in his dark room, swimming in the void he had tried so hard to avoid all day. The shadows toyed with his eyes that were strained after the tears. He only knew one way to rid himself of this cold and impregnable darkness. It was the only way to stay sane. He had sworn he wouldn’t drink on a school night anymore, but right now, he was just too tired to live by his own rules.

Why was he drinking? Well, he had a lot on his mind. Aside from the awful love triangle, Kokichi’s head had started feeling too crowded lately. Too much was happening with too little information. It was driving his calculating mind insane. Most importantly, he couldn’t shake the awful feeling he felt when either Kaito or Tsumugi were next to his dear oblivious Shuichi, trying to attract his poor soul into another relationship that would leave him hurt and alone. The only way to kick all of this off his brain? Alcohol. The warm fuzzy feeling Kokichi had felt at Kaito’s party was what he yearned for. The warm haze that had appeared in front of Kokichi’s unsuspecting eyes, before the dark void had enveloped it. So he drank. He drank to forget and to numb himself. But he also drank to remember and feel. Feel something that wasn’t this. Remember a time that wasn’t now. 

His phone’s screen lit up. A message from Shuichi. With shaky determination, Kokichi grabbed his phone and went on Shuichi’s profile. A red banner showed up in front of his eyes. ‘Would you like to block this person?’ said the banner. The red burned Kokichi’s eyes that had been accustomed to the dark. A red that reminded him of the fiery sunset just moments ago. Closing his eyes to shield himself from that light, he pushed the button. 

“No more delusions starting today,” he muttered to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an unusually long chapter but the long wait for Kokichi finally realizing his feelings has been achieved!  
> Kiibo is really making a good case for himself. Hopefully, Shuichi will have a chance to appeal himself to Kokichi soon because right now it's not looking too good. Fighting scenes are always difficult to write because they make me feel sad!!
> 
> Hope you enjoy! Can't wait to brainstorm and hypothesize with everyone in the comments about the coming chapters!
> 
> \- sunlit
> 
> p.s. I was always a bigger fan of sunsets than the night sky...


	7. Every Thing I See and Touch Reminds Me of Him

Kokichi's POV

“I’m eating lunch with you today.”

Kiibo’s eyes widened and he choked on his soda at Kokichi’s bold statement. Trying to compose himself, he smoothed down his platinum hair and coughed a little.

“Is that why you asked me to hang out with you during your free period? To tell me this news?” Kiibo said, trying to sound calm but failing miserably

“Jeez, it’s not like I just proposed to you. Don’t look that overwhelmed,” Kokichi laughed as he opened his can of grape Fanta. 

The two boys were standing next to the beat-up vending machine near the cafeteria. Kokichi had actually taken time out of his day to do laundry the day before and wore a pair of clean black jeans and a matching checkered shirt. He had asked Kiibo to hang out with him during his free since he wasn’t ready to be swirled into another weird love triangle situation including his friends. 

“Is this because of Shuichi? Did you fight again?”

“Do you not want me to sit with you anymore?”

“Right. I’ll shut up and mind my business,” Kiibo grinned. 

“You honestly look way too happy about this.”

“I do?” 

Kiibo suddenly looked conscious about what he had been doing. Embarrassed, he hid his smile behind his hand and looked away. He had always been awful at hiding his feelings regardless of happiness or sadness from the people around him. For the first time, however, Kokichi was glad that he could see the boy’s emotions. The Kiibo from yesterday had scared him shitless, even if it was just a prank. A confession that had seemed so genuine and then the unusual goodbye had been a very out-of-character action for Kiibo. But then again, Kokichi didn’t know Kiibo that well outside of class. Therefore this morning he had decided that he’d use this time to get to know him better. It was a well-deserved break from his messy friends. 

The two walked back to Kokichi’s locker in order to grab his packed lunch. As Kokichi stuck his hand in to rummage through the contents of his locker, his hand enveloped something that he hadn’t seen before. A grape Fanta can stood right in the middle of the little room. Kokichi fished it out. On the side was a sticky note with a little message. 

‘Hey, I’m really sorry about our argument yesterday. I was way out of line. This is payment for yesterday.’

The can was heavy and cold in his hand. Shuichi had remembered Kokichi’s small comment from the day before. Kokichi had just told him that ‘time was money’ and the rest in order to get him off the hook. He hadn’t expected Shuichi to take that to heart, remember it, and actually buy one for him. But then again, Kokichi noted that that didn’t mean much. Shuichi was nice to everyone and observant in any social situation. He had probably bought a can too many and had stuck the leftover in Kokichi’s locker. But as he thought through more and more, imagining Shuichi doing the same for Tsumugi and Kaito, the anger returned. He had always been Shuichi’s leftover, someone he pitied. If Shuichi thought their friendship could be easily bought with a single can of Fanta he was in the wrong. The anger that Kokichi had had to endure was not able to be cooled by this drink. Shuichi better have a fatter wallet, because in order to make up all the stress Kokichi had to undergo for him, he’d have to buy him the entire Fanta company.

Kokichi threw the can back into his locker and slammed it shut, earning himself some curious looks from students passing by. A couple of feet away from Kokichi, he saw Kiibo leaning against a trash can. As their eyes met, Kiibo waved to him eagerly, beckoning him to follow him. Reluctantly, Kokichi gave in to the invitation and jogged towards him. Unbeknownst to him and Kiibo however the void seemed to have seeped into the shadows, not having disappeared bu lying in wait for its opportunity.

While Kokichi was participating in a deep debate about the ethics of building a robot and making ‘robophobic’ comments, his phone buzzed. Not thinking much about it Kokichi unlocked it to see what was going on.

Rantaro had sent a picture of himself and Kaede holding hands. ‘She said yes’ was the caption. A lot of comments followed. Many were congratulating their official announcement. Although Kokichi tried his best to ignore what Shuichi had written, he couldn’t help but feel his eyes being drawn to it. Shuichi had written a short and sweet ‘I’m so happy for you guys :)’. Kokichi saw right through him. Shuichi wasn’t the type of guy who would feel too happy about this. He knew that Shuichi got committed easily and for a long time. But before Kokichi thought too long and too hard about Shuichi, he decided to cast all those thoughts away.

He couldn’t believe that Shuichi went out of his way to comment on such a trivial post, but hadn’t even asked Kokichi about why he had blocked him. For all Kokichi knew, Shuichi hadn’t even noticed the dumb block that Kokichi had put on his phone number. 

“Of course he hasn’t,” Kokichi muttered to himself. “I was always the one who texted him first anyway. He rarely sent me a casual ‘hey’ first unless I bugged him about it before.” 

The more Kokichi thought, the more he realized what a crappy friend Shuichi had been over the weeks, even before the disagreements and all the jealousy. Kokichi kept muttering to himself, which led to Kiibo swooping in and taking the phone that Kokichi had been staring mindlessly at.

“Hey! I’m supposed to be the one bullying you!” Kokichi yelled.

Kiibo held the phone up high into the air, too far away from Kokichi’s short arms to reach. After a number of honest tries, Kokichi crossed his arms and pouted. 

“You’re such a bully! I’m going to start crying! You know how I can fake cry in a matter of moments. As soon as the tears start to fall, someone’s going to report you to the principal,” Kokichi sulked.

“Your threats are useless against me. I’ll still give it back to you since I’m the better person here,” Kiibo laughed, dangling the device in front of Kokichi. It was a simple and annoying gesture, but it reminded Kokichi of an event that now seemed like a lifetime ago.

Shuichi and Kokichi had been hanging out in the local park after exams in May. The sun was shining brightly and Shuichi’s slumped position over the bench indicated he was melting from the sheer heat. Kokichi had expected that response since Shuichi wasn’t the type to go out for a morning jog. No, he was someone who pulled all-nighters watching True Crime documentaries and trying to solve them by himself. While Kokichi would have poked fun at his dear Shumai literally melting onto the bench, he was slightly preoccupied. He had gotten into a stupid argument with Miu about something they had read online. The specifics didn’t matter. What really mattered was that Kokichi’s mind was stressed while he was having this argument with Miu over his text messages.

“Kokichi, why are you laughing to yourself?” Shuichi asked.

“Well, I am wrecking Miu in this argument. This bitch thinks she can just cross me.”

“Jeez. Isn’t that a little harsh.”

Kokichi winked at him.

“I think she’s rather enjoying it. I mean look at this, she just called me ‘Cock-ichi’. Not gonna lie, that’s pretty original, I’ll give her that.” 

Shuichi had looked long and hard at Kokichi. Then he stood up, facing Kokichi and grabbed the phone from his hands. As Kokichi spluttered in surprise, Shuichi just held it up high into the air for Kokichi to reach for. It was a lost cause to begin with, Shuichi was way taller than Kokichi. It was probably like three to four more inches. However, that didn’t stop Kokichi from jumping up and down in despair. He tried to reason with Shuichi that he needed the phone back to drag Miu through the dirt. But Shuichi only shook his head.

“You don’t like arguing,” he had reasoned.

“Well, I’m winning the argument right now so it kind of doesn’t matter.”

“I’m bad at reading social cues Kokichi but I’m not bad at reading you. I’m confiscating your phone.”

“Like hell you are!”

Kokichi jumped up, lunging to get his phone back. Shuichi dodged side to side to avoid the attacks. For the last one, however, Kokichi had decided to jump on Shuichi and make him fall over first. But Kokichi had never been one for spatial awareness and this became painfully clear as he jumped on Shuichi, who was just mere inches away from the huge fountain behind him. The two had ended up falling into the fountain. Looking like a pair of drowned rats, they had emerged from the water. The phone beyond repair. 

Although Kokichi should’ve been bummed about the result, he had just burst into real genuine laughter. The situation was just so ridiculous and funny. In addition, it had been a miracle that they hadn’t been electrocuted or shocked in some way. When he thought back to, he didn’t remember the contents of his argument with Miu nor the fact that his phone had been waterboarded, although Shuichi had given Kokichi some money to at least cover half of the cost of a new phone. All he could remember was laughing at the unbelievable situation the two had found themselves in and he had felt so grateful to Shuichi for turning a stressful afternoon into one filled with laughter. Shuichi was quick and observant like that when he tried to be.

“Kokichi?” Kiibo waved his hand in front of the shorter boy’s face, making him snap back to the present, and leave his daydreams of a once peaceful time behind. 

“Oh sorry. I was daydreaming again,” he confessed. Kiibo looked unhappy at that response.

“I feel like whenever I’m around you, you’re off in another world. Like the last time at the bathroom and even now. Are you that unhappy being next to me?” Kiibo grabbed Kokichi’s hand with both of his and squeezed.

“No, it’s not that…” 

As he tried explaining his situation, Shuichi and his group of friends walked by them. Conscious of what he was doing. Kokichi pulled his hand away from Kiibo’s.

“Let’s just go to lunch already,” Kokichi said, back to putting a playful smile on his face.

The two entered the cafeteria and Kokichi slid into a seat next to Kiibo. Miu and Tenko looked at him weirdly. While it did seem like they were going to say a thing or two about this new addition, an unusually stern look from Kiibo shut the two of them up. However, while Kiibo had some authority on his table, there was one person he couldn’t quieten down.

“Kokichi, what are you doing here?” Shuichi cut straight to the chase as he saw Kokichi sitting at a different table that belonged to none other than Kiibo. 

“I’m having lunch,” Kokichi said curtly.

“But you don’t normally have lunch with them? You have lunch with us. Kokichi are you upset about our conversation yesterday? I’m really sorry about stepping out of line. I think there was a misunderstanding.”

“And you’re willing to clear it up now? Why not before?”

“Well you weren’t getting my texts, so I assumed you’d want to be left alone for a while. I’m really ready to fix this, I promise. There’s just been so much going on in our friend group that could just be fixed if everyone could sit down and have a conversation. With you gone, it’s even harder to do. Look, I know I messed up but can’t we talk it through. I don’t want that argument to be the reason our friendship breaks off.” Shuichi pulled out his hand from his jeans pocket and extended it in Kokichi’s direction. “Come on. Let’s go back.”

Kokichi couldn’t even look at Shuichi. The mere sight of him hurt his heart. He felt like he could feel the burning stares of Kaito and Tsumugi as Shuichi talked to him obliviously. It was so unfair. It was obvious that this situation made Kokichi look like the bad person. Anyone would really look like a bad person if someone like Shuichi was standing in front of their table and was asking for their forgiveness.

Kokichi knew he was supposed to hate Shuichi. He had many awful habits too such as starting his sentences with “I”. “I know you’re lying” or “I hate when someone puts themselves down like that”. It made him sound self-centered and uncaring. Or he hated it when Shuichi spent time with other people more than with Kokichi. While Kokichi knew he should hate him, there was still an innate desire to forgive and get his best friend back. They had too many wonderful memories to be discarded so easily. In addition, Kokichi had come to realize he had done his fair share of mistakes in their friendship such as being too possessive and bothersome in some situations. Also, he couldn’t shake the fact that he did indeed like Shuichi. He didn’t know when he picked that up. But during yesterday’s fight, he had realized that Shuichi wasn’t just a friend to him. He felt so strongly about Shuichi being around others because he LIKED him. This was not mere friendship jealousy, it was fear of having someone you really liked being taken away from you. Perhaps he overreacted a bit when he blocked Shuichi. He did have poor decision-making skills when under the influence after all.

After thinking for a long time, Kokichi began to hesitantly raise his hand to meet Shuichi’s. However, in a flash, Kiibo stood in between the two and slapped Shuichi’s hand away.

“Didn’t you hear him? He’s having lunch and you’re making him uncomfortable by making a scene in front of the entire cafeteria.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter today in preparation for next week's bigger one! This one was rather rushed so I hope I don't have too many mistakes. I promise that Shuichi is definitely getting more development in the coming ones. I doubt he'll stand idly by if Kiibo is this close with Kokichi ;)
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> \- sunlit


	8. Confrontations Should be Saved for the Courtroom

Kokichi’s POV

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Stop making a scene and please quietly retire to your seat.”

Many people in the tables around them turned their heads to see where the commotion was coming from, just to see two boys glaring at each other. While it was only a few heads, to Kokichi, it seemed like a million eyes were fixated on the argument unfolding in front of them. As if he didn’t notice the sudden shift in their surroundings, Shuichi folded his extended hand back into his pocket. With his free hand, he pushed his bangs out of his eyes and the light within them seemed to change. 

“Look, Kiibo. I really respect you. But right now you’re stepping out of line. I want a private conversation with Kokichi. Is that too much to ask for?”

The tone was complacent but determined. A new side of Shuichi was shown in front of Kokichi. Shuichi flashed a smile towards Kiibo and any other individual would’ve thought the conversation had turned friendly. However, Kokichi knew that his own constant lies and pranks had trained both parties in this stand-off to recognize a fake smile.

“No, I’m sorry to inform you that you’re the one out of line. Does Kokichi look like he wants a conversation with you?”

Shuichi’s stance faltered a little and Kokichi looked away as they both turned to see his expression. 

“Fine,” Shuichi muttered and trudged back to his table. As Shuichi returned, Kaito, Gonta and the rest tried to act as if they hadn’t just been witness to the awkward exchange between the two. Kokichi looked longingly at the disappearing silhouette of Shuichi, who he had been much too happy to see, even if they were in the midst of an argument. His eyes trailed Shuichi’s back, down his right arm, and found its destination at Shuichi’s hand that had fallen out of his pocket. Kokichi wanted to hold this hand so badly. It looked delicate yet strong. Kokichi had wanted to stand right up and follow Shuichi back to where he really belonged. But with the current atmosphere and Kiibo’s concerning gaze upon him, Kokichi could not do anything but finish his sandwich in silence. As an aching pain reached Kokichi’s heart, he realized that this was the next step of his love. Yearning. 

***

Kokichi was walking to his Biology class when someone pulled him away from his course. He tried to flail his arms and swat the other person away but it seemed they were much stronger than him. After a few more seconds of struggling, he gave up. His assailant pushed him into a room. Kokichi looked around to find Tsumugi staring at him menacingly in the female bathroom. While he was pretty confused and disoriented, he took note that the female bathrooms seemed much cleaner than the male ones. The guys’ bathroom that he entered with Kiibo was lined with dirty urinals, made up of marble floors that were either cracked or had stains that dangerously resembled piss, and the doors of the stalls were always on the verge of breaking down. On the other hand, the girls’ bathroom had brightly colored walls, a nice box of female hygiene products that anyone could use, and not broken paper towel dispensers. It seemed much cleaner, but the cleanliness seemed to be a facade for all the bad rumors he had heard about bathroom confrontations, back-handed gossiping, and hushed crying coming from the stalls. 

“Interesting choice of location,” he said. “If anyone sees me here they’re not going to have the right idea though. Not that I particularly mind. You know me, Tsumugi. World expert at peeping. Better rename me into Peeping Kokichi after today.”

“That’s not important right now and anyway I’ve checked all the stalls beforehand. I brought you in here so we can have a proper talk without being ambushed by your personal bodyguard.”

“Kiibo is not my personal bodyguard!” Kokichi said defensively.

‘Bodyguard, boyfriend, same thing. Anyway, what was that in the cafeteria?”

“I thought I’d change a few things up so I sat with Kiibo. It’s not like you guys noticed before Shuichi came over.”

Kokichi hadn’t been wrong with his first observation. It seemed that he was going to get a nice long notorious confrontation in the girls’ bathroom too. Quite a privilege.

“Yeah, well you’re making Shuichi really upset. He just wants to apologize. Why can’t you accept the apology and move on.”

“Excuse me?”

Kokichi did not like the accusatory tone coming from Tsumugi’s voice that seemed to be making him the bad person in this scenario. She seemed to be indicating that all the drama and mess occurring in this group was his fault. Seeing his close friend accuse him of this so obviously, made Kokichi’s blood boil out of anger. It wasn’t like he was enjoying having to sit on a different table as his friends or Shuichi.

“I’m asking you why are you making Shuichi’s life so much more difficult. You’re making the entire friend group feel awkward. Shuichi has already told us a lot about your actions such as you giving him the cold shoulder.”

There were no pointing fingers. There were no ‘Wanted’ signs with Kokichi’s face on the bathroom walls. There were no police sirens going off. But for some reason, Kokichi felt like he was currently in an interrogation cell and was being framed of a crime he never committed. Tsumugi was pulling a figurative lamp in his face and emotionally torturing him for his complacency. Kokichi knew he’d crack and confess if he didn’t act fast.

“I give him the cold shoulder so that you have a chance to fucking talk to him.” 

“I said give us space not make him so miserable that he looks like he’s gonna cry every day.”

“Please. Now you’re exaggerating.”

Shuichi did not look like he was “gonna cry every day”. He looked happier than ever. Always smiling or laughing with Kaito and Tsumugi next to him. The right and left sides of Shuichi that had been Kokichi’s place of comfort. After having given all of them the space of getting to know Shuichi, he did not understand why they were coming to him to complain about his actions. Wasn’t Tsumugi thanking him just a couple of days ago for giving her and Shuichi some space? She was being a huge hypocrite.

“You know what. I really don’t appreciate the fact that you’re painting me as a bad guy, like some kind of mastermind, when clearly you’re the one behind all this.”

“What? This isn’t about me Kokichi. I’m trying to put our friend group back together and not cause more problems.”

This was it. He had changed the conversation topic and good riddance of the previous one. But as soon as they reached this topic, Kokichi knew that he had no control over what was going to happen.

“What would you know about no problems? You’re part of the grand scheme of things. You don’t even like Shuichi and you acting like you do is awful to watch.”

“I do like Shuichi!”

“No, you don’t. You like confident, loud people. Shuichi is a fucking introvert. You’ve liked Rantaro and tried a relationship with Kaito in the past. Don’t tell me that Shuichi isn’t the exact opposite of their personalities.”

“A type doesn’t determine who I can or can’t like and don’t bring up Kaito.”

“Oh really? Because based on what I’ve observed I haven’t seen a single hint that you like him. It’s like you’re deceiving yourself to deceive others. You still like Rantaro.”

“No, I don’t!”

“Admit it. Shuichi is your fucking rebound, isn’t he? Since Rantaro rejected you, you felt lonely and who is the easiest target in our group? It’s obviously Shuichi. He listens to your problems and isn’t assertive. You probably thought that if you can’t get Rantaro then Shuichi is the next best thing. He’s too polite to reject your advances and too quiet to tell you on others. Do you even know anything about him?”

Tsumugi looked like she was going to hit him and so Kokichi braced himself. However, she only glared at him furiously.

“Rich coming from you. You’ve settled for Kiibo after finding out that Shuichi doesn’t reciprocate your feelings.”

This was the second time Tsumugi had brought up Kiibo in a conversation he was not part of and Kokichi was sick of it. Why couldn’t people not involve others in their complicated web of feelings and misunderstandings? He turned away from Tsumugi and stepped towards the door with his anger dangerously close to overflowing from the kettle known as his body.

“My relationship with Kiibo is nothing like that. We’re just friends and we’ve never thought about each other in that way.”

“Then you better tell him that before you break another heart,” Tsumugi called after him but Kokichi had already left the bathroom after his last line. 

***

Kokichi slammed the door to his house and threw his keys onto the table next to the door. He cursed as he missed it. He had gotten home late that day as the supervisor for the card club had called him to her office. It was only natural since Kokichi was this year’s leader of card club after his two seniors Celeste, a gambling master notorious for her poker faces and lucky hands, and Togami, the past student council president who spent his free time indulging in harsh chess games with Kokichi, had graduated. While Kokichi had the upper hand when it came to staying composed and derailing his opponent with his hidden traps, he had never come close to beating Togami’s scarily strong strategies. Some of the best moments of his high school year that wasn’t spent with his friends were spent in the card clubroom near the cafeteria. However, of course, it was also bound to be destroyed.

“We’re going to have to disband your club if you’re the only member,” the supervisor had muttered. Kokichi had told her with a confident smile that he was going to find members in a week, but right now he had no clue where to begin. The stress of the club as well as everything else made Kokichi’s head spin. It wasn’t like he could ask his friends to join. Not anymore.

He remembered something that someone had told him in the past. Apparently talking to people about your problems was better. Kokichi pondered whether it had been Shuichi, as the wording of the advice sounded like something he would normally tell Kokichi. Either way, he felt like he didn’t have anything to lose and so he threw his tired body and soul onto the bed and took out his phone. He dialed Gonta’s number. After three rings, he picked up.

“Hey, Gonta.”

“Kokichi, is everything alright? You didn’t look that good in English today…”

“I’m going to stop the facade since you’re the one I’m talking to. Gonta I feel like shit.”

“Kokichi no! What happened?”

“You know it’s the usual. It’s all the responsibility that comes with being a senior. Man senior year sure is shitty. Can I drop out yet.”

Kokichi proceeded to explain the situation to Gonta to which he received some pity that he graciously accepted. However, the light tone of the conversation soon shifted as Gonta brought up the topic Kokichi feared he would.

“Am I allowed to ask about the cafeteria incident and you and Shuichi?”

Kokichi went straight to the point. 

“Every time I see Shuichi’s face I want to throw up.”

“He’s that ugly?”

Kokichi stopped a little before continuing. Did he want to tell Gonta everything? He did want to get some things off his chest and it wasn’t like telling Gonta was going to harm him. Gonta only hung out with him anyway.

“No, he’s too pretty. I can’t take this anymore.”

“He’s pretty? I don’t understand.”

“You know. His eyes and his laugh is pretty.” 

Kokichi splayed his hands in front of him, flexing his fingers and observing his nails as he continued to talk. Sometimes it was nice that Gonta didn’t jump onto conclusions and tended to be dense as a brick. Yet, there was this foreboding feeling that he got while talking to Gonta, which he couldn’t understand. 

“Oh, that’s really similar to what Tsumugi says.”

Kokichi sat up as he heard her name. As he remembered the second bathroom scenario of the week, red seemed to flash in front of his eyes.

“No. Not similar to what Tsumugi says, you idiot.”

“But she always talks about how much she likes Shuichi. He even probably knows if even I can notice her behavior.”

Of course, she had acted obvious on purpose. Kokichi could see right through her strategy. She was letting everyone know that she liked the other individual in order to tell them to keep their hands off what was hers. It was like that unsaid secret pact, where one is not supposed to go for their friend’s crushes or such. To believe Tsumugi had been doing such underhanded tricks… And what had been Kokichi doing? He had been distancing himself from Shuichi even worse. Could there be worse timing for a guy to have a fight with his half-crush half-friend?

As Kokichi stayed silent on his end of the phone, Gonta seemed to be getting an idea, but not one that would benefit Kokichi’s current situation.

“Do you perhaps… like Shuichi too?”

This was when it actually occurred to Kokichi that maybe he was messing up big time by being this honest to Gonta. Sure, he was one of his closest friends but who knew when Gonta would use this against him. He could pull a Shuichi and start hanging out with other friends or he could be like Tsumugi and call him out for the things he said. There was nothing good to come out by Kokichi telling Gonta his true feelings regarding the situation. Gonta was better friends with Kaito, Shuichi, and co. so if Kokichi told him these things, it was certain that it would reach their ears in a heartbeat. He suddenly felt paralyzed by the thought that he couldn’t trust Gonta with any information. But it wasn’t just the untrustworthiness of Gonta that scared him. Kokichi was struck with the idea that there was no one he could turn to anymore. Every word coming out of his mouth now could be used against him. There wasn’t anyone on his side. He was alone. 

His breathing began to become uneven. His eyes darted back and forth. His mind seemed to be moving too fast for him to comprehend. The darkness that had been only filling centimeters off the ground seemed to be increasing exponentially. Kokichi struggled to breathe as he noticed it creeping up towards his throat and past it too. In seconds, his entire body was submerged in the heavy void.

Kokichi could tell that Gonta was trying to reach him from the other end of the phone, but even that simple gesture felt like a threat, an interrogation, a trap. So, Kokichi did the one thing he could do to escape this questioning. This jail cell that he was suddenly trapped in. The courtroom with no lawyers but only a row of prosecutors and a merciless judge. 

Kokichi grabbed the phone so tight, he felt the sides of the device clawing into his hand. Barely forming a sentence, he hissed a single and condemning sentence.

“No, I fucking hate him.”

Kokichi felt so alone as he hung up. So terribly alone.

***

Shuichi’s POV

Shuichi straightened his tousled hair as he entered his house, calmly setting his house keys into a steel plate next to his front door. Slipping his backpack onto the ground and taking off his cap, he sat on his bed. He brought out his phone from a little hidden pocket in his bag and began scrolling through the notifications, deep in thought.

Shuichi Saihara knew that many people liked him. He had a rather plain personality that reminded him of those bland anime protagonists. While it bothered him that he wasn’t quite unique, he didn’t let it stress him out too much, since it seemed that many people liked a basic, quiet boy once in a while. While Shuichi was well-liked, he wasn’t what you’d call a ‘popular kid’. Not like his close friends Rantaro Amami and Kaito Momota. In addition, it was mildly disappointing that high school hadn’t been the romanticized experience with murder cases left and right like in Detective Conan or as romantic as the shoujo manga he’d sometimes secretly borrow from Tsumugi. He knew all these things, yet there was one thing that made up for everything: Kokichi Ouma. 

Kokichi was his best friend and their friendship had bloomed in their shared AP Calculus class. It was surprising that such a wonderful relationship occurred here, based on the fact that Kokichi complained about that class nonstop. The only reason Kokichi really seemed to be taking the class, however, was because he was rather good at maths, even if he wouldn’t admit it in this lifetime or the next. Shuichi knew that Kokichi didn’t know what he wanted to do in the future, but that’s something Shuichi admired about him. Kokichi was so well-rounded and talented in many fields that he was overwhelmed with choices due to his abilities. Shuichi only had one thing going for him, which was nerding out about detective novels and having an active imagination. 

If Shuichi had to say one more thing about their friendship it would be that he hoped the friendship wouldn’t last too long. Why? Because he was terribly in love with his best friend. 

He lied down onto the soft surface as he brainlessly scrolled through the messages. He responded to a few quick emails to teachers and made a to-do list in his Notes app. Later he’d have to go out to buy toilet paper, do his Physics homework due next week, and, lastly, go grocery shopping to buy some ingredients for tomorrow’s lunch. 

“Hmm, lunch? Maybe I’ll just buy food in the cafeteria since I don’t have food to pack for tomorrow and-” Shuichi stopped mid-thought.

He covered his face with his hands and recalled the events that had unfolded in the cafeteria. He remembered Kokichi’s sad face that had looked so melancholy yet beautiful. He had wanted to grab his face and stopped those invisible yet existent tears from falling. He thought of the look of, perhaps, hope that had shone in Kokichi’s eyes when he had extended his hand. While it was such a wonderful scene, with Kokichi trusting Shuichi, Shuichi’s expression darkened as he remembered the set of cold eyes that had glared at him that day. He remembered the disappointment he felt when Kokichi had decided to stay with Kiibo as well as the anger that flared within him when Kiibo looked over to Shuichi’s pitiful state and had smiled gloatingly. The anger once again changed to sadness when he noticed that he had accidentally opened his chat log with Kokichi out of habit. 

‘This user has blocked you. You are unable to receive or send messages.’

A concise yet hurtful banner lit Shuichi’s face up in the dark room with its red hue.

“Where did I go wrong?” he muttered, staring sadly at the screen that separated the two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally!! We have reached Shuichi's POV. I've been receiving requests to switch the POVs and it was on my mind for a while. I'm especially excited since we get to see events interpreted from a different perspective. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this update and see you next week with more Shuichi :)
> 
> -sunlit


	9. Take Your Own Advice

Shuichi’s POV

Walking through the halls of the school, Shuichi sighed and put his phone into his pocket. This was the fifth time he had looked at Kokichi’s profile, hoping that there had been a miraculous change in his status and that he was unblocked. It was a couple of days after the cafeteria scene and every interaction he had with Kokichi seemed to end badly. His ‘hellos’ were left unreturned and whenever Shuichi was about to strike up a proper conversation between classes, Kiibo seemed to be in the way, calmly redirecting Kokichi away from Shuichi’s location. He had always known that Kiibo was feeling a certain way for the shorter boy. They had their fair share of rivalries back in the day such as competing on who could help Kokichi with his Calculus equations or seeing who could make him laugh faster with hushed whispers during class. However, Shuichi didn’t think that Kiibo would be this blatant about his feelings towards Kokichi. Shuichi knew that Kiibo must’ve gotten the jump on him somewhere along the race. He racked his brains as he walked past the lockers and full classrooms. The race had been rather equal up until recently, so he must’ve stumbled somewhere. 

“When did Kokichi first properly start hanging out with Kiibo?” he wondered out loud. “They didn’t really interact even last month. They probably only talked outside of class when Kokichi was escorted to the nurse. Oh, fuck.”

Shuichi stopped abruptly and soon enough felt someone bump into him, causing a stinging pain that accompanied his painful realization. Had Kiibo already confessed to Kokichi? That son of a bitch. Shuichi recalled the smug look on Kiibo’s face and another daunting idea occurred to him. Had Kokichi accepted the confession? 

While the thought in itself hurt Shuichi and contributed to his self-inflicted emotional torture, he couldn’t continue ignoring the pain that he felt in his back. Not in the best mood, Shuichi turned his head to come face to face with the guilty party, who smiled meekly at him from above. The one responsible for the pain was none other than his close friend Kaito who had been quietly creeping up on Shuichi but hadn’t found the right time to talk to him. Shuichi straightened his shirt and cleared his throat, signaling to Kaito that his ploy had been exposed and he better cough up whatever he wanted to talk to Shuichi about. 

“Kaito?”

“Did you do the Physics homework due after lunch.”

“You haven’t done that yet?” 

“Dude don’t misunderstand. I totally did. It’s just… I might’ve left it on my desk this morning.”

“Just tell me that your dog ate it jeez. I don’t fall for that crap.”

“Come on! Don’t be mad. It’s only the first time this week that it happened.”

“It’s Monday, Kaito. If you had managed to forget more homework before the week even started, that would be pretty impressive.”

“Don’t be that way. We’re best friends after all. How bad is it to let your best bro copy off half a page of your notebook?”

“You’re sounding dangerously close to the shit Kokichi tried to pull every now and then.”

“Keyword: tried. Speaking of the little devil Man what even happened between you two? He won’t even sit with us during lunch.” Kaito said, waving his hands in the air out of exasperation. “If he’s mad at you, he should only stop talking to you and not to us? What did I do wrong?”

“I’ve been trying to figure that out myself for the last few weeks.”

“We can rack our brains all we want but as long as he doesn’t tell us what’s wrong, I doubt we’ll be able to figure it out on our own. We’re just two idiots after all. Speaking of being idiots, want to get wasted near this park that I found? Perhaps the more wasted we get the closer we get to finding our last few brain cells?”

Shuichi hesitated for a bit. He had recently begun a close friendship with Kaito and had learned that Kaito had even fewer brain cells than Shuichi had first thought. Despite all this, Kaito was a good guy. He was from the richer side in their neighborhood with a huge mansion-like house and he was one of the few friends of Shuichi’s who had his own car. However, Shuichi wasn’t envious of Kaito like many students were since he knew about the guy’s situation. The law of alchemy, equivalent exchange, was a force within nature after all. ‘Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return’. While Kaito got unlimited free time, expensive stuff, and hundreds of friends, Kaito in turn lost the motivation to work hard and only had mainly superficial relationships. But this was not Kaito’s fault. If only Kaito’s parents spent even a little time with him, Shuichi felt that it would positively impact Kaito’s behavior. Kaito’s so-called parents were always in some foreign land, refining business deals, and only sending money to Kaito in place of themselves. Shuichi had read about families like that and had been surprised to meet someone in that situation for the first time when he got to know Kaito properly. It made him want to be a good, reliable friend to Kaito, who Kaito wouldn’t have to worry about losing.

While Kaito was surprisingly not a huge trouble maker or slacker in school, Shuichi could still see how it affected him in subtle ways. For example, by the fact that Kaito couldn’t keep a girlfriend for longer than a couple of weeks. His one-year-long relationship with Maki had seemed to be Kaito’s big break, but that had ended recently too.

After deliberating the idea in his head for a good number of minutes, Shuichi agreed.

“Neat. Today. Afterschool. My place. And thanks for letting me copy off your homework. I’ll buy all the drinks!” 

“As if,” Shuichi laughed but soon stopped as he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head and saw that his English teacher was looking at him. “Oh shi- crap I mean. You scared me Ms. What is it?”

She shook her head disappointedly as she received the poor greeting and Shuichi began feeling extremely uncomfortable as the interaction seemed to continue past the greeting. 

“Hello Mr. Saihara. I’ve come to talk to you about some club related issues.”

“But Ms. You don’t supervise our club. In addition, our mystery club disbanded last year?”

“I never said I was talking about your club… Have you heard of the chess club and its current status? I’m asking you because it seems that you hold a close friendship with the current chess club leader.”

“Ah…” Shuichi hesitated. It wasn’t like he was going to tell her about the tense relationship he was having with Kokichi. “Yes, I’m pretty close with Kokichi.”

“Could you please tell him to come to my office later? I need to give him some hand-outs in case he does decide to disband his club.”

“His club is about to be disbanded?” 

“Yes? I thought Mr. Ouma would have mentioned this to his close friends by now? Now, I can see that Mr. Ouma isn’t even trying to get new members. Unbelievable.” 

The teacher sighed. 

“Anyway, Mr. Saihara, it is your responsibility to get this information to him.”

After looking disapprovingly at some students running past her and Shuichi, she then disappeared into the faculty office. Shuichi was lost as to what to do. It wasn’t like Kokichi talked to him. Should he just tell one of Kokichi’s current close friends? But that would mean he would be admitting defeat to Kiibo and Shuichi would rather eat his hat than do that. He continued to class while wondering how to convey this message to Kokichi.

***

Shuichi met Kaito at the school gates. Kaito was holding his backpack on one shoulder and on the other he held a sports bag. Obviously, it didn’t hold any sports equipment. Shuichi opened the bag to find a wild assortment of different brands of canned beer. 

“You came to school with all this alcohol? The teachers would have killed you.”

“I’m alive right now aren’t I?” Kaito joked.

“What were you planning on doing if I hadn’t decided to hang out with you?”

“I would’ve sat on a flower field and drank all this shit by myself. What else?”

The two laughed as Kaito navigated them to the picnic area. As this occurred, Shuichi could not help but think about Kokichi who would be taking the subway without him this afternoon. Taking the train alone wasn’t a big deal. But Shuichi knew what a comforting feeling it was to have a familiar face at the station. It was the little things that mattered after all, like sharing music or conversing about how their days were. In previous occasions where either Shuichi or Kokichi couldn’t make it, they had texted the other to let them know that they didn’t have to wait for the other. However, since Kokichi had blocked Shuichi on the only messaging platform that he used, it was impossible to let Kokichi know. It wasn’t like Shuichi could just naturally start a conversation in school with Kokichi anymore either. 

They walked for half an hour until they reached the park, where Kaito lowered the picnic spread and opened the cans. Shuichi naturally accepted the offer and began drinking as Kaito brought out the snacks too. Pretzels, chips, and gummy bears. It wasn’t exactly an ideal picnic but Shuichi didn’t complain. A breeze gently danced through Shuichi’s hair and he let himself succumb to the sound of Kaito’s laughter and the gentle hum of the bees. 

“So let’s address the elephant in the room,” Kaito said suddenly, ripping Shuichi out of his tranquility. “What happened between you and Kokichi?”

“I’m not sure. I want to apologize and fix it, but I can’t do that unless I know what I did wrong?”

“Why don’t you just ask him dumbass.”

“Because Gonta literally pulled me aside, told me Kokichi was doing bad and told me to stay the fuck away?”

“Let me predict what the reason is. What if it’s because you spend so much time with me?” Kaito joked.

“Be serious Kaito.”

“I’m being 100% serious right now. Can’t you tell?”

Shuichi turned to face Kaito and was greeted by a mocking serious face. Sighing, he went to reach for his third beer.

“This is why Maki broke up with you.”

“Ouch. Low blow.”

“Am I wrong?”

“Damn, drunk Shuichi is always so mean.”

“Shut up. I’m not even drunk. And even if I were, I’m only being honest. There’s a difference”

“If Kokichi is giving you such a hard time, why do you like him so much?”

Shuichi paused for a moment as he tried to come up with a good justification.

“I don’t know. I just do. It’s-”

Before Shuichi could finish his sentence, he suddenly felt something heavy on his shoulders. No, it wasn’t something, it was someone. Kaito’s little goatee tickled Shuichi’s shoulder as he noticed that Kaito had draped himself over him. Confused, Shuichi tried to stand up and failed as Kaito’s arms were wrapped tight around Shuichi’s ribcage. Shuichi’s inebriated mind tried to make sense of what was happening. While it took him a moment, he came to realize that Kaito was hugging him from behind and was resting his head onto Shuichi’s slender shoulders. 

“If Kokichi is giving you such a hard time, why don’t you just like me?” Kaito whispered.

Shuichi didn’t know how to feel or what to say. He had never been hugged from behind like that. When he was dating Kaede, he had been the one to hug her from behind, never vice versa. The warmth of Kaito’s body pressing against his was relaxing like a small flame was being ignited inside him. However, Shuichi felt himself shifting uncomfortably as the realization hit that this was Kaito’s body and not someone else’s. 

While this realization stressed him out a little, Shuichi tried to relax. It wasn’t like he could escape Kaito’s grasp and he was pretty sure Kaito was just gone at this point. He tried to imagine someone else holding him this close, not because they were drunk, but because they truly adored him. As Shuichi tried to close his eyes and imagine this individual, a hazy but definite thought of Kokichi began to manifest in his head. Shuichi thought about Kokichi’s small frame trying to hug him from behind to show his affection secretly and his face turning bright red as Shuichi turned his head to face him. Shuichi would then quietly brush Kokichi’s messy hair from his eyes, cup his cheek, and pull him closer. 

Shuichi suddenly noticed what he was imagining and a burst of adrenaline rushed through his entire body. It was enough for him to stand up in a second and push away Kaito in the process. Shuichi became distressed at the sight of Kaito rolling down a small hill after the force Shuichi had exerted onto the bigger guy.

Groggily, Kaito walked up and sat back on the picnic spread.

“Dude it was only a suggestion, no reason to throw me down a hill.”

“My bad! I didn’t mean to!” 

The adrenaline had made Shuichi sober and he was back to his polite self. Kaito pouted as he brushed the grass and dirt off of his white shorts. 

“Also, you shouldn’t say stuff like that so casually!” Shuichi nagged. “What about Maki’s feelings?”

“I know man. I know. I just thought that maybe being with you would make the situation better.”

“Dude, you know I’m not interested in those relationships.”

Kaito hid his face behind his two big hands.

“I just miss her so much. Fuck, I didn’t mean to actually break up with her.”

Shuichi sat back down next to Kaito and patted his back reassuringly. He subtly pushed the beer cans to the side. If Kaito was starting to be serious, that meant that he had enough alcohol in his system already. Shuichi wasn’t really sure as to how he should cheer him up, so he just sat in silence and listened to Kaito’s words.

“Shuichi, you know how I am with commitment. Maki got fed up with it. I wanted to experience more and meet a bunch of people. But now that I lost Maki, I feel like I made a huge mistake. Those experiences and people aren’t worth not having her next to me. But what should I do? I don’t know how to show that to her. She won’t even look at me nor stay in the same room as me.”

“That makes two of us. I can see where you went wrong.”

“Really?” 

“You should’ve spent less time with people like me and more with her. You were accidentally treating her like a second choice, not knowing she was accommodating for you the whole time. She must be feeling incredibly frustrated never being a priority in your list.”

“I guess I did prioritize hanging out with you guys.”

“Exactly. You two were so in love with each other. I’m sure she wants to talk to you as much as you want to reconcile. So just go and apologize to her. If she doesn’t accept it that’s her loss, but I promise that it will help.”

“Fuck, did I make you feel uncomfortable? I didn’t mean to ruin our friendship by using you as… as… as a rebound.”

Shuichi flashed him a reassuring smile.

“It’s alright. I accept your apology… “

“Really?”

“...but only if you listen to my advice and talk to Maki about your relationship.”

“Damn Shuichi. Why are you only good at solving other people’s problems and not your own.”

Shuichi laughed. He knew it was true.

“What if you take your advice for me too?” Kaito asked..

“What do you mean?”

“I was joking before but I’m sure Kokichi wasn’t too happy with you hanging out so often with us. You know how I can be. Go apologize to him. You love him don’t you?”

Shuichi hesitated again but then closed his eyes and smiled brightly. 

“I do.”

“Then, what do you reckon you should do now?”

Shuichi opened his eyes with newfound determination glistening within them.

“Borrow me a pen and half an hour,” Shuichi said.

***

Kokichi’s POV

Kokichi ran to his locker as the sun began to set. He had left his Biology homework at school and he knew that if he didn’t hand in another assignment the teacher would send him to the principal. He wasn’t exactly on his good side after he let off a stink bomb in that classroom. For a second, he caught himself wishing that Shuichi had been on the subway with him earlier since Shuichi tended to remind Kokichi of homework due dates and such.

“I’m really useless without Shumai, aren’t I?” Kokichi muttered.

Kokichi would never have guessed that he was so forgetful. Lately, it seemed he had so much on his mind that easy tasks like taking his homework home seemed to be forgotten. Then again, Kokichi would never have guessed that senior year was going to be stressful, not because of schoolwork, but because of teen drama, including him. However, Kokichi would never have guessed that as soon as he opened the locker, there would be a still cold can of beer in it with a small post-it note with Shuichi’s handwriting, sitting within the metal box. Kokichi’s heart began beating louder as he read the note. So loud that he forgot the entire reason why he had come here in the first place. Two sentences were enough for Kokichi’s mind to be consumed by Shuichi all over again.

‘Can we talk. I’m paying the fee beforehand this time :)‘ 

Needless to say, that evening, Kokichi came home to the dawning realization that he was only holding a can of beer with a dumb post-it and his Biology homework had gone untouched within the four walls of his locker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although I ended with Kokichi's POV, the next chapter is going to continue being from Shuichi's perspective. So no worries, Shuichi still has things to say from his side. I had to take a break last week but we're (hopefully?) back into the regular schedule. 
> 
> Hope this week's addition makes up for it!
> 
> -sunlit


End file.
